New - What was your child like before adolesence

[flippysmom]

I am doing my best to figure things out, lots of reading on this website and I have 2 books on order.

I am wondering about the childhood of your children.  Did you notice differences from an early age on?  My daughter started to show differences at one year of age, mood change - irritable.  I had her at the doctors constantly suspecting she had an eaf infection but no.  She had and has lots of sensory diffficulties - the feel of clothing, being hot, smells etc... .  Lots of negative attention seeking behaior from an early age on.  Ultimately she was diagnosed with Aspergers -high functioning autism.  She is now 14 and her new and very experienced psychiatrist believes that emerging BPD fits her profile and does not believe it's aspergers.  Is this similar to other people's experiences?  Did you notice differences from an early age on?  I still believe my daughter has some neurological differences but the BPD is also making more sense.  Thanks

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[plshlp5]

  I too am trying to figure things out. I just found out my daughter's "new" dx last week is BPD, we have thought for years she had bipolar and major depression. But to answer your question, she began displaying signs at around 2, now that I'm thinking about it. I remember my mom, whom we lived with at the time thinking she was ADHD. When I met my now husb, and we moved in with him, my daughter was 3, she began displaying her depressive signs. But the other signs were there that you mention: she had to have her socks on just right, didnt like the fabrics touching her a certain way, couldnt wear certain shirts, tags, etc... .  she had many ear infections between 18 months and 2 1/2 years, always always always seeking out negative behaviors, stole a ball from a store at age 5 and knew it was wrong, but didnt care, (I made her take it back to the store manager and it didnt phase her one bit). She still seeks out those negative behaviors even to today, beginning from a young age of 2... .  we just thought it was terrrible two's, but it never got better, and they were more terrible than the "norm". I have Dr's records when she was a toddler asking them to run tests asking if she was ADD or if something was wrong with her. So yes, it did start from early on with my daughter as well. If you want to go WAY back, she was even "colicky" as a baby, which could be pure coincidence... .  i have two other daughters who never had any behavioral or any other types of issues such as these.

What about reaching milestones? Were those any different for you? My daughter reached hers early... .  sitting at 3 mos, crawling at 5 1/2, fully walking at 8 mos, fully potty trained at 18 mos. Amazing milestones.

She is now 15 and has been living in a residential facility for the past 9 months because I couldnt keep her or my family safe.

[Reality]

Hi there,

I started an Aspergers thread a year or so ago.  I will find it tomorrow, if no-one else does first.

Reality

[mikmik]

Here is my recollection of 18 years ago, and then forward:

DD was coliky, did not like to be put down.  Wanted to be held all the time.

Stopped taking naps at 18 months old

Teeth did not emerge until after one year of age

Loved to play, put things in "rows", active.  Loved to swim.  At soccer, was very good, but often stood apart from the group.

Very sensitve to her emotions, when she was either tired or hungry, would get very upset, VERY upset.

HATED to have sticky hands (from eating food, or getting juice on them)

Cute as a freakin button, loads of personality, people drawn to her

If she was made to do something she did not want to do (clean, homework, eat a new food) she would loose it.

HOWEVER, if it was her choice (to help clean for example) she  would go into with full force and joy

Always a gifted visual artist.  Sticks with a theme for a year at a time. 

I would have classified her as a strong willed child.

Had to sit with her to do her homework

She often did not pay attention in school, so often did not know what her homework was, never wrote it down

Her feelings got hurt easily

At age 12 everything changed, and what we now know as BPD began emerging.  It was treated incorrectly for six years.  Six years lost, and six years that only made it all worse.

Hope that helps.

mik

[griz]

Nothing really out of the ordinary as a small child other than the fact that she did not nap at all.  She was a pretty easy going child. Never a problem in school, did her work, excelled at academics, terrible at sports... .  She was however a sensitive child but no so much about herself as she was about others.  She would be upset if someone hurt someones feelings, always looking out for the underdog and I used to say that she always brought home the strays.  If there was a kid that the other kids were mean to she became their friend.

The only thing that I can remember was that she never stuck with anything. Dance, soccer, fencing, gymnastics... anything that she was not good at instantly or that she had to put effort into she quit.  She is still like that at 17.  We noticed the onset of BPD behaviors after a horrible bout with bullying at school in 8th grade and then again in 9th grade.

She also has suffered with anxiety since she was about 9

Griz

[jellibeans]

when my daughter was younger we thought she was strong willed or the spirited child... .  read all those books. She had meltdowns on a daily basis. We didn't go out to resturants because of her for a time and still rarely go out as a family to eat. She walked late and talked late. In speech therapy of years. She did not like napping and could not self sooth. When she was really young (under two) she put everything in her mouth... .  sand... .  play doh... .  rocks... .  I had to watch her like a hawk out side.

She was a very messy eater and hated getting her face clean after... .  still won't eat with a fork... .  had problems with sensory things like socks... .  how clothes felt.

Probably the biggest problems we had when she was young and up until this day is lying. She does it with ease... .  has a really different reality at times.

She would hide birthday invites because she didn't want to go and knew if I found it she would have to go... .  avoided social intereactions. She is a good athlete but often is very stressed when there is a game and she has to preform.

showed ADHD tendances when younger. I also thought she would dyslexic but I could never get services from the school district. Had tutors since she was young. Struggles in school. Would rather copy work and cheat than do it herself... .  does poorly on tests.

As she got older she was very defiant... .  verbally abusive... .  raging... .  agressive.

Our problems really got bad last summer... .  she was partying and hanging out with the wrong crowd. Then two of her best friends started cyber bullying her and things just fell apart... .  she has struggled ever since... .  The last two weeks she had showed some improvements so I am hopeful again... .  

[momontherun]

I wrote of many things DD15 off as thats just how she is... .  

From birth she slept all the time... .  not most but all. I would follow advice to let her be but drew the line after 5 hours. So every 5 hours being in pain (I was breastfeeding) I would try to wake her up to eat, for relief. The only way I could get her to tsay awak was by pressing my thumbnail into her foot just enough to get her attention. As soon as I stopped, she went back to sleep almost instantly like it was too much work.  She finally started staying awake for 2 hours at 2 months old.

By 3 months she was sitting herself up, rolling around trying to crawl, walking by 7 months, running by 9 months, speaking by 11 months, reading by 2yrs, writing by 3 yrs. I was afraid I seemed to be pushing her as she was developing so fast yet she was eager to learn... .  once she had something down, she quickly moved to trying to manipulate things to work differently like her shape sorting blocks, after 2 days she mastered it then started trying to get the other pieces to fit in each others spots. With one Winnie the Pooh set by Fischer Price she did - I wrote the company telling them how disappointed I was in their product as it wasn't really teaching anything. They sent me a couple educational toys and lots of coupons.

At 3 yrs she started head start amazing everyone at the level she was at and it was suggested she be tested as gifted. I dug my heels in and said maybe later she just likes learning.

At 4 yrs. she started being withdrawn- I wrote it off as her life suddenly changed dramatically so it was only natural. After a few months and she hadn't rebounded, I took her into counseling and they suggested she had a problem

expressing how she felt so we traced her body and colored lots of butterflies - everyday she was to put the butterfly where she felt funny and we would talk about it.

At 6 yrs. she didn't want to do the butterfly thing anymore but continued talking withme how she felt.

At 8 yrs. she stopped talking about her feelings daily ready to get started with her day but still came to me when she was fearful and/or anxious. She continued to ask questions and manipulate the world around her.

At 9 yrs. her self confidence plummetted, stopped asking questions instead ran from them becoming withdrawn again.

At 10 yrs. she realized there was something wrong with her and started drawing all the time - the more I tried to boost her self esteem the more she pretended everything was ok continuing to hide.

At 11 yrs. she mastered faking her happiness... everyone left her alone, didn't question her.

At 12 yrs. she started turning to others to determine how she should feel and/or behave becoming the perfect chameleon willing to do everything the adults in her life (me, my parents, teachers etc.) asked of her which was a bit disconcerting

and I realized she didn't know how to say no so beganletting her know its ok to say no every once in awhile.

At 13 yrs. she started to sleep all the time again, isolating herself, learned to si, started stealing, take on others perceptions of her.

At 14yrs. all the above just became exaggerated and the rages started leaving me more confused ... .  she knew right from wrong, would stand up to me becoming challenging, seemed happy, responsible and to have strong morals. She had her first hospitalization for si, dx BPD/Major Depression/PTSD

Went to RTC a month before her 15th birthday (last month)

At each stage there was one crises after another within the family ... .  except from 4-10 yrs.- those were the yrs. I really didn't know her as I was working all the time and hardly saw her constantly going from one place to another. I accepted this is who she was - questioned it sure but still accepted until she was 13 yrs. only then I knew this was not normal behavior - something was wrong, out of control. My "normal", "healthy", "insightful", "very intelligent", "creatively atristic" daughter has been replaced with someone I don't recognize yet I am able to glimpses of every once in awhile.

DS11 is the highly emotional one, letting out his anger in one form or another, very restless as a baby, seemed right on course with his learning yet so competitive he pushes himself to be ahead, he didn't crawl or walk- he pulled himself up from sitting and started running... .  very active - always on the go until I found games slowed him down a bit using his competitiveness to settle him so most things have turned into a game, very rigid in his thinking of right/wrong, having to have strict rules for himself and those he befriends, takes pride in being a loner not wanting to "let anyone in", the perfectionist being highly intelligent yet so down on himself- very moody... .  if anyone was going to have "the problem" this is the child to be it - maybe he does and its just not at the extreme as his sister? I don't want to look for something that isn't there as this behavior could be a bit of his true personality and the affect of his sisters? It's just hard not too as he frequently has bouts of acting out where she acts in - They are as different as night and day so I wonder.

DS4 is a bit behind "the norm" with his speech/language and could be explained its due to his hearing from birth yet everything else for him is right on target for one his age just really far behind than I am used to compared to my older 2. He likes to learn yet isn't so rigid pushing himself, seems to enjoy each moment and when he does mess up says "its ok, it happens" and we agree and laugh it off. Its like my older two are each others polar opposites and this one is the middle ground.

I try to remember how my many siblings were at these stages and/or research what the "norm" is until I get myself so worked up I have no choice due to mental exhaustion but to accept these are my children and how they are... .  time will tell for sure - all I can do is appreciate who they are, help them the best I can to overcome the negatives within themselves as well as, in life and enjoy them for who they are - not for what they could be as in the end, no matter how they turn out I will still love them with all my being.

[sam-99]

My dd 1st diagnosis was depression, then age 15 PDD-NOS (almost aspergers), then finally at age 22 received BPD diagnosis.   Each diagnosis fit at the time, but each new diagnosis fit better.  Not sure if it was BPD all along or just a progression which ultimatly led to it. 

[twojaybirds]

My dd was picture perfect... .  really... .  napping ... .  laughing... .  agreeable... .  I also thought too much of an adult pleaser... ate everything... .  joined groups and clubs... an A-B student... then just weeks before her18th birthday the s$&@t hit the fan.  the clinical director at the psych hospital said she was on of the most severe cases he has ever seen... .  her ability to mask ... .  even her best friends since kindergarten and 3rd grade were clueless to the flip side and her other set of friends... .  

[mikmik]

twojays,

What did doc mean by most severe cases?  By her ability to mask, by most BPD, by most withdrawn? "Most" is a very, very big word.

That is, if you don't mind me asking...

Mik

[vivekananda]

I think when you have BPD in the family - both mine and dh's - then a BPD child is within the realm of normality.

My dd was always, from birth difficult. Not sleeping. Highly sensitive to sound, taste etc. Strong willed. Able to 'mainpulate' as a toddler. Charming and sociable. Gentle. Dainty. Very high verbal skills. Strong intellectual mind. Desperate for a 'best' friend and for friends. Impatient and bad tempered. And most of all secretive. of course, temper tantrums throughout this time - usually with me, the boundary setter.

Then there was puberty and things began to go belly up. Then there was adolescence, my worst time of being hurt by her. Then there was early adulthood, my worst time of worry for her life. Then there is now, my fears of her never getting better.

All along the world was telling me it was me that was the problem. I expected too much, I was too strict, etc. Stupid me, I listened to them. I was also living in remote country, if I had been in the city, maybe my supports would have been better and resources more available. But then it was a different world 32 years ago when she was born.

ah well.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[mamachelle]

 Chances are your dd has both going on. I have 2ss that are now medicated and getting lots of therapy but what people are describing here is similar to my SS now 15 and 10. I believe it's no coincidence that one has dx pdd-nos and bipolar r/o psychotic features and the younger is "emerging bipolar" but is IMHO BPD.

My limited research in insurance and education settings is that the autism diagnosis is better to keep insurance and schools helping the kids.

I guess changing meds is one thing but losing the autism dx may have other repercussions down the line with your insurance as it is a different axis dx. Others here know more about it. I love the book essential family guide to BPD... .  by randi Krueger .  Sorry typing one handed on iPad while my toddler sleeps.

[Nrsertcht]

Newbie here, but wanted to answer this question.

d18 in last yr. daignosed with BPD/Bi-Polar, Anxiety Disorder, Social phobia

As infant, d18 was a joy, a "blast" is how I often referred to her as.

Slept through the night, napped appropriately during the day, woke with a smile, happy baby, normal milestones.

Fair athlete, A-B student, AP classes, tried drama club and swim team and did finish each play/season but incredibly anxious.

Looking back though, had a HUGE fantasy life... .  lived in her fantasy world which worked as a child, but not so much as a 18 yr. old. Lived in her "gowns", tu-tu's, glitter, crowns, music, plays, and so on.

One of her biggest issues is getting her to want to live in the "real" world, doesn't want to grow up.

[grandma mom]

My daughter, now 34 was a pretty easy baby, toddler, young child.  She had loads of ear infections and was finally dx with "deformed U-station tubes" at age 30.  She had primary enuresis (bedwetting) until she was 12.  She was impossible to get to sleep at night after age 9 and then even more impossible to get up for school in the morning for the rest of her school years. In fact, she was kicked out of her elementary school for being tardy too often and then had to go to 2 more schools to finish grade 6.    She had few friends and was always very shy.  Once I got her into alternative school in grade 7 things improved somewhat, but she was always a night hawk and surly.  A "friend" (bad influence if you ask me) convinced her to leave home at 18.  She did finish high school and could have gone to U (she had the marks) but she chose to go work in the retail industry.  This was her undoing.  She found that there were "politics" in her workplace and so quit job after job, even though she eventually had a pretty good job. At 19 she had a baby whom she promptly left with me.   At 22 she was physically assaulted after a night of heavy drinking (I still think her drink was drugged) but she has no memory of this and we don't know if it was sexual assault or not.  She collects pets (cats, a dog, rats) and spends enormous amounts of money on these (toys, vet bills, doggy daycare etc.) and is up to her neck in debt - student loans for the BA she finally decided to pursue 5 years ago, a car she bought on Visa at one point... .  poor judgement over and over again.  I cannot help with tuition etc. as I have been supporting her child for 15 years, but I do think that's quite enough!  On Christmas day she turned up plastered at noon, and her poor daughter was mortified in front of the whole family.  We haven't heard from her since, and I'm almost grateful for that.  Sigh. 

[twojaybirds]

   Mik

the p meant her ability to mask it as well as the depth of her emptiness  He said she was totally empty, unable to hold onto any feelings or past emotions, felt total pain in everything and raging with internal anger but had masked it so well no one knew.  People repeatedly said I was raising the next Mother Theresa... kind, gentle... caring... .  loving... .  patient... .  chatty... optimistiically naive.   No one saw any of this in her... her lies nor deceptive ways; alternative friends were hidden from her core group of best girl friends.  She actually NEVER went to a party or went out on fridays or saturday nights as most all of her high school friends. 

She is still awesome at the decption for those who do not know it but now I know and can read betwen her lines/lies.   At college they believe her to have been homless, put out by me in high school.  She has posted on fb instagrams of papers with teachers comments about her courage to have come so far from the streets... oh dear me... .    She is now a note taker in a class for a student with disabilitites as well as just got a job as student security... walking the campus at night to ensure safety.   Of course she is int he process of mediation with her 2nd roommate go figure

[vivekananda]

Ah dear, it's so sad.

Nrsertcht: welcome here   . You are in the right place (if it hasn't be said to you already  ). I have come to understand that the reality of pw BPD is so different to our reality. Now she is 18, your dd is an adult, although so much a child in other ways. I would like to share the most important thing I have learnt here: There is no way you can get her to live in the 'real' world. You have no control over her at all - although you can influence her and support her. She has created her world to protect herself from the hurt she feels inside, she doesn't want to change I bet. What you can do is be prepared to change yourself. You can teach yourself to meet her in her world and in doing so, help her see reality - not by telling her, not by teaching her, but by showing from example. To begin to enter her world, practise validation. Validate her emotions, this gives her the language and the opportunity to recognise what is going on in her mind - the beginning of mindfulness. Have you read Valerie Porr's book 'Overcoming BPD'?

grangma mom: How lucky you are to have the joy of your gd living with you. How sad it is for your dd. Practising acceptance gets us through these terrible times, and that's not always an easy thing to do eh? I have a new day dream - I am a fairy godmother with a giant magic wand, making it all better for people like us. It's nice to dream now and then - but as we know, we have to live in reality.

2jbirds: I see this masking as 'disassociation' do you think that is right?

Vivek    

[twojaybirds]

Vivek , the p who said this was the clinical director at the psych hospital my dd went into when she was 17.  Everything exploded in 2 weeks in her including lying to get into juvenile detention and lying and getting released... .  if you can believe that one.  Up to that point no one saw anything but greatness in her.

This dr has a despair theory which is awesome. Here is his book link www.amazon.com/Profound-States-Despair-Developmental-Emptiness/dp/1599429438

This theory totally fit my dd life and personality.  I was overawed by it.  He is clear that BPD cannot be diagnoses till you are an adult , thus theory is what he teaches from to explain the BPD cluster similarities  (i think those are his words) in teens.  If the dispair is not treated as a youth/teen BPD will be diagnosed later and he beleives despair is the most overlooked and undertreated syndrome of our youth and teens.

long and short:

we are born cups with little holes.

Things fall out our holes... which is fine but we can plug the holes and learn from them.

As kids we mimic our families... if they are good we are good  etc

When we hit teenage years we grab our cups away form our families and try to form our own self-identities... the developmental  job of teenagers

Those with despair have lots of big holes and do not know how to plug them.  When they grab their cups they are empty... everything... their experiences... love... emotions have fallen through... some a little some a lot.  In my dd case he said the bottom of her cup was not there at all... she had nothing.

They see friends happy and they are not but cannot name it or understand why because there was never one thing that happened to pinpoint their unhappiness so they keep trying to fill their cups... with friends... experiences... but it empties out the bottom... so they switch friends a lot do different things  thinking this next "whatever" will be the answer.

they finally turn to high risk extreme behaviors to try and feel anything... sex/drugs/theft/sucided attempts... whatever is high risk to them... yet these immediate feelings disappate and they have to do the next thing.  They can not look back at and think about a past "happy" event and feel that happiness... everything is only for the moment.

I really like his theory and believe it fits.

[vivekananda]

thnx 2jbirds, it sounds very persuasive and interesting. I will go to the link and explore a bit more.

I find the idea of 'masking' an interesting one myself and I think it is similar to disassociation as described for BPD. But my ideas here are not informed except by my own experience. Does it mean not connecting with the world?

My own dd is so adept at presenting as normal and in control that if you didn't know her as we do, you would think nothing is wrong. She presents as socially adept, charming and vibrant - when she wants to. I know that people do not see the me that I really am also. When I left my first husband, everyone said,  'but I didn't know anything was wrong' ... .  this does not mean lying and manipulation, just living as if everything is rosy. Making social situations smooth. Perhaps meeting what is assumed is other people's expectations - finding identity from others because of a lack of self identity.

hmmm it is all so interesting. Did you see lbjnltx's post on the new brain studies?

cheers,

Vivek    

[twojaybirds]

I did see the brain study posts and explored them... It is all so interesting  however as long as people look 'typical" we still have a long haul.  In my field we call this a hidden disability.  They can be the hardest for society to accept. 

My boyfriend thought my dd was just immature and spoiled when I explained her ways for he had only seen her vibrant and fun and chatty till our Christmas scene to which he responded:

"I have seen tantrums, drunks, anger, street fights and explosions.  I am sorry for not totally getting it.  Your dd really cross some type of psych line.  I dont know the exact words but it is more than anything I have ever seen.She really is not part of her self and cant hear anything.  The look in her was so different than anything I have ever seen."

I ws glad he saw it ... .    he would be bound to evenatually.

[grandma mom]

Yup.  My daughter can present as more "normal" and in control than I can when the cops come calling, which they do when she threatens to jump off her balcony or some such.   For better or worse, it's all theatrics and since I live far enough away, even when I've gotten those midnight phone calls, its all "better" by the time I get there, so I don't go anymore... .  in fact, I rarely answer the phone in the middle of the night unless my granddaughter is at a sleepover.  Sad but true. 

[Nrsertcht]

Vivek ananda:

Thanks for the response. I do spend a lot of time in my daughter's "world"

She has been so much fun and a joy to me. I struggle with how to "help" her and am seeing my own therapist within our local DBT system locally. I will continue to work on how to help as this will be a journey.

I have not read the book you mentioned but will be sure to look into it!

Thanks so much for the genuine advice. I sure could use more from any and all. I will continue to read and ask as questions arise.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Kate4queen]

My son is a supreme 'masker' but looking back I noticed some warning signs as to how he had to be the center of attention and lacked empathy for anyone else. At 9 he was having some surgery and shared a room with a baby who was needing major heart surgery. When my son starting screaming about having being given the wrong color cast, we asked him to keep it down because of the baby and he said he was more important than the baby and that he didn't care what happened to the kid. And he lied a lot and tried to blackmail me into things by the age of 11.

As I said, looking back there were definite signs that something wasn't right but we put most of it down to him having mild cerebral palsy as that was enough of a burden for him to deal with.

[mggt]

MY DAUGHTER IS 20 YEARS OLD KNOW AND HAS A BABY GIRL 11 MONTHS OLD.  I ALWAYS NEW SOMETHING WAS OFF WITH HER SHE WAS VERY CNOT LICKY DID NOT SLEEP THRU NIGHT UNTIL 9 MONTHS OLD CHRONIC EAR INFECTIONS ALWAYS WANTED TO BE HELD VERY NEEDY COULD NEVER SELF SOOTHE OF ENTERTAIN HERSELF I DID NOT MIND ALL OF THIS BECAUSE WE ADOPTED HER AT 5 DAYS OLD AND WE WERE THRILLED TO HAVE HER .  WE FOUND OUT HER BIRTH MOTHER DID DRUGS WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT WITH HER SO WHO KNOWS IF THIS HAD A IMPACT ON THE BPD I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT THIS IS A BRAIN DISORDER I KNOW SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT IT HAS TO DO WITH THE WAY THE CHILD WAS BROUGHT UP BUT NOT WITH HER MY OPINION  SHE ALWAYS HAD HARD TIME MAKING FRIENDS KEEPING FRIENDS AND STICKING TO ANYTHING SHE JOINED WHEN SHE WAS LITTLE .  AS TIME WENT ON I KNEW SOMETHING WAS JUST NOT RIGHT SO TO SPEAK STARTED TAKING HER EARLY 6 YEARS OLD TO THERAPIST SHE CHARMED THEM ALL WHEN SHE WAS LITTLE SHE WAS ALWAYS SO EMPHATHETIC AND VERY CARING TO OTHER PEOPLE ALOT HAS CHANGED NOW IT IS ALL ABOUT HER AND HER ANGER TOWARDS ME AND MY HUSBAND .  NOT SURE IF ANYONE HAS SIMILAR STORY SO MUCH MORE  TO  TELL BUT EVERY TIME  I GET ON THIS SITE I GET VERY DEPRESSED AND DOWN SO I CAN ONLY STAY ON FOR A SHORT WHILE TILL NEXT TIME AND GOD BLESS ALL OF U

[vivekananda]

Hi mggt,

Your story is one that is replicated by others here. It is so sad. I can see you are hurt by the experience, we all have been. You are in a safe place here.

Here we have a number of parents who have adopted.

Here we have a number who have daughter's with children, some are raising the children themselves.

Here we have many whose daughter blames the parent's for 'abuse' - including me.

Here we are familiar with the charming child who fools everyone except us, we recognise the extra sensitivity in our children.

Here we are familiar with our own depression, anxiety and more.

Most importantly it is here we learn how to manage ourselves and our situation, I would like to encourage you to stick with us. We are a caring, supportive community and we are here for you.

Cheers,

Vivek    

[cfh]

mggt

Maybe our kids are twins separated at birth!  Your story is exactly like mine (including all the parts I'm sure you left out).

My ds 29 sounds so much like your ds.  I don't mean to sound flip I'm just having a "I can't believe this is my life" night.

So happy you found this board because you will get great advice, support, virtual hugs when you need them and most of all you will have all of us who have walked in your shoes.

I guess sometimes our stories can be depressing but if you stick with us you will also have lots of laughs (which I'm sure you need).

Welcome.

[cfh]

mggt

Sorry I meant to say your dear daughter.