dd15 rtf - Staff restraint or abuse

[crazedncrazymom]

Hey folks,

For the purposes of this post my thoughts will be in parenthesis.  Latest update in this crazy life. On January 31, DD15 was told she was going to the long term rtf program.  She was NOT happy.  Idiot clinician (I really really hate that man!) brought dd into the room with her lunch.  Pizza and salad (I guess they're going to let her eat before they tell her)  Then he immediately says We need to talk to you.  Do you want your mom to leave the room?  She said yes.  I said I'm her mother and I'm not leaving.  She's busily eating her salad and ignoring me and he just says it.  Due to you not following the expectations of our program or at home you will be entered into the long term rtf program (OMG he just said it like that and did not take the food away!)  Well two seconds later here comes the salad all over me.  Then she ran out of the room with idiot clinician chasing her.  Then she comes back in the room grabs the pizza and hurls it at my head.  So I'm cleaning pizza and salad off me and clinician and director are trying to keep her in the building.  After awhile dd asked to talk to me alone.  Told me she'll hate me till the day she dies and will make my life hell (too late for that one kiddo).

I leave and the next day get a call from idiot clinicians coworker (since he's not allowed to contact me. I have no patience for stupidity).  she told me that dd revoked her consent for anyone from the facility to speak with me.  So I told them dd wasn't allowed to call home until she re-signed the paper.  The following Thursday (yep she lasted a whole week) her new clinician (YAY no more idiot clinician!) called and said dd signed a new form allowing them to talk to me. 

OK, here come the concerns.  I'm so confused about this part.  DD spent the week running on a rampage.  Yelling at and spitting on the staff, wrapping strings around her neck in attempts to kill herself, drinking cleaning fluid (why they have cleaning fluid within reach of the kids is beyond me).  During several of these instances she was restrained by staff.  Basically the way it's supposed to work is that one staff member will be behind her and pull her arms up behind her and they would force her to the floor and another staff member would sit on legs until she calms down enough to not pose a threat.  During at least 2 of these instances her head was banged into a wall hard enough to leave big visible bumps on her forehead.

One part of me is saying I'm sure the staff was only doing what they had to do in order to keep her and themselves safe.  She's big and strong and must be a lot to manage.  Plus they were probably mad because she has been pushing, yelling and spitting on them all week.  The other part of me is saying... .  They're supposed to be trained in restraint methods that do not include banging her head into a wall. 

I keep going round and round in this circle.  It really bothers me and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to even think about it.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Being Mindful]

Is the report about banging her head coming from her or the staff?

[crazedncrazymom]

The first report came from staff... or at least dd reported it to me in front of her clinician and the clinician did not disagree with her about the head bump.  She also reported that staff member took her shoes off her feet and threw them at her head.  The clinician said she did get hit in the head with her shoes but only because staff member was alone and he took her shoes off so she wouldn't kick him with her shoes on and accidentally hit her in the head as she was struggling with him.  But also during this report, she said there were 4 staff witnesses that say he did not throw shoes at her.  Got that... .  staff member was alone and had to unconventionally restrain her and there are 4 staff witnesses to back up the fact that he didn't throw shoes at her.  Good luck with that math. 

The second bump (and worse one) was reported to me by dd when I took some things up to rtf to replace the things she will never be allowed to have again.  No more shoestrings for her so I brought Velcro shoes.  She was also caught trying to take the underwire out of her bra so I brought some wire-free bras

[Survive2012]

Hello Crazedncrazymom,

I am so sad to read things are so difficult with your daughter!

What makes her get mad at the people treating her? What does trigger her to those reactions?

Does she say WHY she is so angry with you?

Be strong. Try to find some time for you.

Survive

[crazedncrazymom]

Hey Survive,

She's mad because she was admitted to the long term rtf program.  She was expecting to come home.  We tried our best to bring her home and were ready to sign her out even AMA, but she wouldn't work with us at all.  If I told her about a rule, I was being unreasonable, If I gave a consequence I'm such a f'n b.  So instead of coming home, we made the decision that she would stay in rtf awhile longer.

This is the first time she's shown any physical aggression towards staff.  We went through one other episode of trying to kill herself with shoestrings but she worked through that.  I believe we are finished with this episode of aggression.  The only thing left is the fallout.  I'm not sure what, if anything, to do about these reports.

One part of me wants to say, if you act that way you're bound to get hurt.  The other part wants to hug her and beat up the people who hurt her.

[lbjnltx]

The facility should have a patient's rights statement.

After obtaining and reviewing this statement what might be a plan of action?

You can request an investigation into both incidents.

All concerns about staff conduct need to be taken to the clinical director.  If staff has acted outside the protocol then a  reprimand is in order.

Continue to be an advocate for your d... .  your the best one for that job!  

lbj

[crazedncrazymom]

Thanks lbj.  That's great advice.  I think i'll do that and see what comes from it.  Can't hurt to at least let everyone know that mom is watching.

[angelica_evil]

I am not sure if this information will be helpful to you or not, but not only do I have a lot of working knowledge of staff abuse/restraint situations due to my BPDbf experiencing it for years, but I also have quite a few friends who work as teachers and staff in these types of schools. Honestly, my gut reaction when you say this, is that there IS unnecessary abuse going on, and to report it and do whatever you can to make it stop. My BPDbf was in the same type of program for 7 years, until he was old enough to drop out. In those years, since he was a big kid, he was restrained wayy before the actual need for it occurred. As a result, as an adult, those years of abuse have fueled and made worse his BPD as well as his intermittent explosive disorder, in addition to making him severely claustrophobic and terrified of being restrained (this poses a problem with being in handcuffs, as his IED has gotten him arrested now and the cuffs made the situation a thousand times worse). In that facility, he has his head bashed on the floor and the wall during restraints countless times. Once, he was pushed THROUGH a wall by the staff, and then they placed a filing cabinet in front of the hole he made, so he couldn't get out. He would walk into school, and before even opening his mouth or doing a thing, was ordered right into the corner in the front of the room, while the staff mocked him openly and if he turned around at all or said anything, he was restrained. His finger bones were broken two different times by a staff member grinding his boot into his hands when he tried to move them off the floor. These abuses were obviously reported, but each time, staff would stick together like glue to fabricate a lie, making them appear to not have used anything but standard force in restraint.

He endured so much abuse because he was a known manipulator, so when actual abuse occurred, it was a 'boy who cried wolf' situation. Five years after he dropped out of this behavioral problem focused 'school' facility, many parents came forward and started a class action lawsuit against the school and staff members. 90% of the staff was fired and some faced charges. A bit late to help my bf, but it still vindicated him in some way. I have a good friend, who works in this facility as an english teacher, who believes in peaceful conflict resolution, who tells me about her disagreements all the time with other staff who aren't so nice. She also did acknowledge that they will stick together like super glue to get another staff member out of hot water.

So, the point I am trying to make is, do not let this one go. Not only will this abuse continue to hurt your daughter's condition well into adulthood, it will be a constant source of mistrust and fear for her right now, as if she needs to add that to the laundry list of issues. Be as tenacious as possible in getting to the bottom of it. Even if you suspect she is exaggerating an incident for manipulation/pity/getting her way... .  it's better to look into it. Better safe than sorry, always.

[peaceplease]

Any video cameras in this facility?  Most places have them.

[Being Mindful]

The first report came from staff... or at least dd reported it to me in front of her clinician and the clinician did not disagree with her about the head bump.  She also reported that staff member took her shoes off her feet and threw them at her head.  The clinician said she did get hit in the head with her shoes but only because staff member was alone and he took her shoes off so she wouldn't kick him with her shoes on and accidentally hit her in the head as she was struggling with him.  But also during this report, she said there were 4 staff witnesses that say he did not throw shoes at her.  Got that... .  staff member was alone and had to unconventionally restrain her and there are 4 staff witnesses to back up the fact that he didn't throw shoes at her.  Good luck with that math. 

The second bump (and worse one) was reported to me by dd when I took some things up to rtf to replace the things she will never be allowed to have again.  No more shoestrings for her so I brought Velcro shoes.  She was also caught trying to take the underwire out of her bra so I brought some wire-free bras

My gut tells me that more questions need to be asked. Also, there should be a policy available to you... .  ours was provided at placement, although I had already reviewed it. In each case of a hold, we were to be communicated with.

[jellibeans]

I think all mother get this little uneasy feeling in our stomachs when reading your post... .  if you feel that in your stomach don't ignore it... .  need to ask some more questions... .  I do think it is easy for abuse to take place... .  you are right they are suppose to be trained in dealing with just these kinds of situations... .  

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[crazedncrazymom]

I did some checking and went out and spoke with the staff members involved with the restraints.  During that particular restraint, dd had gotten herself wedged in an area where it was hard for the staff to get to her.  She had another clients shoe and was pulling the shoestring out.   My sweet darling dd was punching the staff member repeatedly while the staff was trying to pull her out to take the shoe away from her.  She ended up bumping her head pretty good in the struggle.  DD admits to all of this but says the staff should have been more gentle with her.  I dunno.  I wasn't there and I'll never feel good about the situation. 

I really am beginning to doubt the whole residential thing.  She has never been physical before this.  If she gets anymore treatment she may end up a full blown monster.

[lbjnltx]

Dear crazedandcrazymom,

So sorry that these safety concerns have been added to your already full plate.  

It is good that you went personally and spoke with the staff involved in this incident.  Did you find out if they have each been professionally trained in passive restraint?

The residential staff at my d's RTC were chosen for their large size and their big hearts.  Passive restraint was/is practiced with compassion.

Defiance is a common problem for teens in RTC.  Many will push back until they learn that it won't work.  I hope this is true for your d, it was for mine.  Compliance can come when they find out the boundaries aren't negotiable... .  they can learn that they will need skills to get their needs met in a healthy way.

Hang in there!

lbj