painted black?

[mitchell16]

I havent posted in awhile. Me and My BPDgf started going to therapy. Though it was one session. Things had turned 100 percent better. we were communicating when problem occurred and I felt we were on teh right track. we were trying to get back in for another session. But all that exploded theoterh night. we went out to a bar and was having drinks. watching the stage act. having agood time. Some of her friends showed up and it was like instant transofrmation. While sitting there she calls an ex boyfriend about something that had no reason or sense. I didnt say anything. She starts dancing with one of her girlfriends and falls down. I come over to help her but she refuses my help. Later she walks and "says when I fell you didnt even help" the night went downhill form there. It ended with her saying she is done with the relationship and she not going back to counsling and that I was ass. and she wanted me out of her house. When I left I get a text telling me she is done. I dont respond. about two hours later I get one saying saying she has fell and hurt herself but she is ok. I dindt repond. The next day when I talk to her she tells me it over and that I need to go on with my life. She cares for me but it will never work and she has nothing but good to say about me but it is over. I tried to talk to her and she tells me she is done and doesn want to talk to me any more. Since then she wont take my calls or return my emails. I have a therapist appointment today. I guess in my mind have been painted balck. I feel ok with it ending since how she acted. I never seen her act so out of control. I relaize thsi is not  how I want to spend my life. But im still very down at how cold and brutal she ended. after two years I was just cut off. we have had some amny break ups I have lost count. and she always comes back aorund and gets me abck. some how her words sound so final. I guess im reliefed but at same time sad since it was going so well

[Surnia]

Mitchell

So sorry to hear about the sudden turn to black 

Seems she is very unstable right now. Are you in couple therapy? This is sometimes a huge trigger for SO.

Great you have a T appointment today. 

[mitchell16]

we had started couples. We had made one session and he had gave us some homework to comlete before we cam back. I had already completed my part but she wsa dragging on hers. I hadnt said a word about her taking her time I was just letting her pace herself. But after the one session she said it was good to for us to her each otehr spoint of view without arguing or interrupting. we was doing really good for about the last 4 or 5 weeks. we had no blow ups any minor disagreements we worked out it with a problem. but the otehr night she just really had a come apart and I left because she become very unstable. The netx day I get the text telling me shoudl go or own ways and that we just was good for each other at this point in our lifes and that she didnt like the person she became around me. Of course, I do agree I didnt like the person she ahd become. But once again she has no concept that her actions cause all of this. I mean who calls an ex boyfirend while out with there current one of two years. Whenn she knows this has been a problem before and she has never called him in my presence before. and the rest of the night her behavir just got worse and worse. Then she dumps me the next day Like I did something wrongs. I treid to call a couple of time but she just texted back " i dont want to talk to you anymore" I stopped after that. Hvent heard anything for a couple of days now. Yes. Im looking forward to teh therapy session. I hopeing he can help understand why I cant let her and this relationship go.

[HarmKrakow]

we had started couples. We had made one session and he had gave us some homework to comlete before we cam back. I had already completed my part but she wsa dragging on hers. I hadnt said a word about her taking her time I was just letting her pace herself. But after the one session she said it was good to for us to her each otehr spoint of view without arguing or interrupting. we was doing really good for about the last 4 or 5 weeks. we had no blow ups any minor disagreements we worked out it with a problem. but the otehr night she just really had a come apart and I left because she become very unstable. The netx day I get the text telling me shoudl go or own ways and that we just was good for each other at this point in our lifes and that she didnt like the person she became around me. Of course, I do agree I didnt like the person she ahd become. But once again she has no concept that her actions cause all of this. I mean who calls an ex boyfirend while out with there current one of two years. Whenn she knows this has been a problem before and she has never called him in my presence before. and the rest of the night her behavir just got worse and worse. Then she dumps me the next day Like I did something wrongs. I treid to call a couple of time but she just texted back " i dont want to talk to you anymore" I stopped after that. Hvent heard anything for a couple of days now. Yes. Im looking forward to teh therapy session. I hopeing he can help understand why I cant let her and this relationship go.

I can imagine how it feels. Being hurt is one thing, being hurt so consciously aches so bad, it drives you crazy. I do think the therapy part is the good way forward for you and I also think there are lying some interesting answers for you there

Continue going to a T, continue venting your emotions and worries here and the moment you feel progress or decline, let us know. This could also help others, but most of all, yourself.

[mitchell16]

I had therapy session yesturday. It was really great. I have been to the therapist now 3 times. twice by myself and once with her. This was my first time back since they met. I told therapist about the blow out the other night. and he gave me some really good advice. Nothing I havent heard or knew already but it hit home comeing from some a professional and someone who has met her. The therapist said, of course he couldnt diagnose her with bPD after one vist but based on what I told and based on what they saw themselves she defentley had alot of BPD traits and that it wasnt going to get any better and I couldnt fix it or her. They said it was only going to get worse. They said everything I told that had happened in teh two years was classic BPD down to the her goodbye text. They said that they wouldnt take the goodbye text as real and that they really wouldnt be surprised if she called back in some way in teh future since she ahs pulled his numerous times. They said only when she relaizes that I have drawn the line on the realtionship would she move on and then it migt only be after she attempts some sort of harrassment becasue it is all but control. They said the only way that I would ever get out of this was strict no contact. AND I AGREE. I told T that I believe that I have finally had it, I dont scare easy I work in a feild that deal with life and death sitituions everyday but her come apart the other night was scary. almost like something from the excorcist. she a has had temper tantrums before but never like that one. I was in fear for my safety or having to defend myself. SO FROM THIS DAY FORWARD NO MORE NC FOR ME.