She's not recycling... her family is.

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Well been 10 days since I kicked my dBPDxgf out of the house for hitting me. Hasn't made contact but I know she's been arrested twice thus far, relapsed on drugs/alcohol... .  Now her family is begging for me to take her back. Not her... .  her family. Telling me how much she needs me. The whole family are alcoholics but when my ex drinks she rages hardcore.

I might believe I sent her into a depression and relapse is her way of coping, but sounds more like her family doesn't want the problem in their house and wants to pawn it off to me.

[rockhardabsman]

Well been 10 days since I kicked my dBPDxgf out of the house for hitting me. Hasn't made contact but I know she's been arrested twice thus far, relapsed on drugs/alcohol... .  Now her family is begging for me to take her back. Not her... .  her family. Telling me how much she needs me. The whole family are alcoholics but when my ex drinks she rages hardcore.

I might believe I sent her into a depression and relapse is her way of coping, but sounds more like her family doesn't want the problem in their house and wants to pawn it off to me.

[catnap]

It was her choice and her choice alone that she relapsed.  Her family is trying to make you responsible for her. 

What do you want? 

[rockhardabsman]

It was her choice and her choice alone that she relapsed.  Her family is trying to make you responsible for her. 

What do you want? 

Yes it was her choice and her choice alone, I have no control over her actions, and she has her own power to make her own choices. I've been very strong this go around, I've actually had boundaries this time around.

What do I want? I want her to get a personality transplant hahaha. No but seriously, I've always been the one to break up with her, even though she re-writes history and says it was her breaking up with me it isn't the case.

She would have to ditch all the other men, flirting / cheating is unacceptable. She would have to go to AA, get a sponser, and stick to it. She would have to go to therapy by herself, and maybe as a couple. She also would need to know that I will enforce my boundaries and kick her out again if she acts up. Also she's dual diagnosed BPD / BiPolar with anxiety, she would need to get on medication as well, she doesnt agree with the phsychs diagnosis, total denial.

That being said, I still don't know if I want her back. In all honesty I only seeing her coming back for her own benefit.

[Somewhere]

That being said, I still don't know if I want her back.

good.  good.  Because we both know the rest of the crap on your wish list aint happening.   

In all honesty I only seeing her coming back for her own benefit.

Users use. 

It is what they do -- else the words would not have meaning.

[rockhardabsman]

Yup I know it's not happening, that's why I threw it out there to her sister as the only conditions she could return.

At the end of the day, she's probably going to prison. She's on felony probation for beating the crap out of me. Went to rehab for her alcohol/meth problem. Now she's breaking all the rules right out of rehab. Been locked up for drunk in public and fighting with her sis. All of which when getting back to the PO will probably get her locked up for a while.

Maybe jail will make her start self reflecting that she does need to change. I sure as hell can't get her to wake up.

I am glad of one thing though, out of all the recycles, I was the one to end it all the time. So it doesn't cut as much because I reached the breaking point way before her.