Somewhat successful

[Winifred]

Last June our 32 year old daughter informed us that she was pregnant by a criminal and drug addict. This was the latest in a string of blows dating to age 13 when her BPD began to show up. A month later she assaulted her father and we filed a police report. We held firm on the domestic violence charge, and she went before a judge. We recommended a psychiatric evaluation and mandatory counseling in lieu of jail time or probation. Surprisingly, our daughter complied and has continued with the counseling and psychiatric treatment. As a result, her medications are being monitored and adjusted for the first time in 13 years, and her counselor seems to be helping her a great deal. Thankfully, they also have reporting responsibilities regarding the welfare of her baby. I have told her that I will call CPS if she takes her child to the apartment where she lives with her drug-addicted boyfriend. As a result, she has arranged for much better housing. There have been plenty of ups and downs during the last nine months, but the overall picture looks more hopeful at the moment, and we will have our first grandchild in a couple of weeks. I guess this is a lesson in setting boundaries and sticking to them, which is very hard but absolutely crucial with BPDs.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[jellibeans]

Well I wonder if having a baby has changed her focus... certainly sounds like she is making more of an effort... .  what kind of meds can she take while pregnant?

[Winifred]

I hope that's the case. However, we are always wary. She might change one day and then revert the next. We'll see. She's taking Seroquel (sp?) and an anti-anxiety drug. Her ob-gyn and psychiatrist tell her that they're safe for pregnant women, although the psychiatrist is gradually lowering the doses so that she'll be alert enough to care for a baby. We've had a good mother-daughter day shopping for baby things, and I'm so grateful for that.

[vivekananda]

Hi Winifred,

I am so pleased to hear your news. It feels good to have your efforts appear to work. Well done on setting those boundaries, you had some hard decisions to make I know. You must feel pleased that your work will make for a better chance for your grandchild to be, congratulations.

Please keep us in touch with how it goes, ok?

cheers,

Vivek    

[qcarolr]

How exciting for you. It is so good to feel the positives from keeping to your boundaries  and the focus on the baby's safety. As long as your D can keep her focus on what is best for her child, it may make other choices easier to make (or not make). We look forward to hearing how things are going.

qcr