Can you get them back

[almost789]

I want to try to get my BPD bf back. Any ideas? I broke up with him and now I want him back and he doesn't want to and said he can't give me what I need.

[lostoc]

They always come back when they need us.

[almost789]

I don't want him back I think he's a narccissist. I read an article on NarcSpeak by Lisa Scott. This pretty much sums him up, exactly. If I can keep telling myself this, instead of feeling sorry for him. I can let him go.

[Newton]

Hi SummerT321 

It sounds like the "undecided" board is ideally suited for you right now as your last two posts are quite conflicting in your desires... .  many of us here have felt the same... .  flip-flopping daily (or hourly!)... .  

I noticed in your initial posts a real frustration in the gap between his words ("I really care about you"... .  and his behaviour (often the opposite of those words)... .  

This is a really important distinction to focus on... .  it will keep you centered... .  as long as his words are out of kilter with how he behaves then he will be very unpredictable, and you will feel constantly on edge and uncertain of your status in the relationship.

I set a similar boundary as you seem to be expressing (please correct me if I'm wrong)... .  something like "If she has BPD then there is hope and I will see this through, if it's NPD ... .  forget it"... .  

Unfortunately many persoanlity disorders can overlap or be co-morbid... .  all we can really do is focus on our partners behaviour... .  and how it affects us.

There is a third way... .  you can care about your own welfare... .  still feel sorry for him AND let him go... .  is that an option you could consider?... .  

Have you had a chance to look at the "Choosing a Path" articles to the right of this page?... .  they can really help to focus your conflicted thoughts and feelings.