I've been NC, she's tryin to contact me.

[Consumed]

Since mid jan. I have been NC. The wake I left with has me depressed and dealing with some ptsd. The anxiety and heart pounding left almost the same day I made the decision to finally stop the bleeding. Blocked #, email, FB and hve not been dwelling on thoughts of her and I don't miss her (miss her 5yr son). I've written all that in a few posts, but she has been trying to contact me through other ways. She called my work about a month ago and got me on the phone for about a minute. She called my cell from her work phone (blocked now also)  and I let it go to VM. This week, the receptionist at my work (friend's my ex) told me she has been calling work and texting her to get a hold of me. I have a strong feeling she is going to stop by my house soon. I'm not into calling the police, because she will get pissed and do soemthing else, so I will have to just not answer the door. She lives a 1/4 mile away from me. I was told she has been driving by a lot, which I have been depressed on my couch for the past 2 months, so I don't see it. I haven't seen her in going on 3 months and I don't want to. She plays so many games, telling her friend (my co-worker) she is going blind and wants to see if I care. So many things like that, which make me tilt my head like a puppy and think What the heck. Just writing today, because I know a lot of you have been through this. I don't want to be rude, but I know a visit is coming soon and I'm getting a little anxious. Thanks for listening.

[schwing]

Ok.  So you expect that she's going to try to catch you off guard.  You could call the police but would prefer not to because why?  You'll just get her angry?  Well, maybe this could help you to see when she is angry then you might not be so conflicted about speaking with her.

Another option is to get help from a friend who is willing to be a witness or a chaperone.  It might help to let this friend know in advance.  So if she does try to contact you when you have expressly asked her not to contact you (maybe you need to repeat this), at least you will have a witness present when you need to tell her in person (again).

Also I find that whenever there is a third party around, people with BPD (pwBPD) are much less likely to pull their shenanigans.  Also you are less likely to get caught in a he-said/she-said debate.  Just tell her you don't want to talk to her.  But if she needs to tell you something, she can say it with so-and-so standing by to make sure there isn't any misunderstanding.

Or you can be rude.  There is nothing wrong with being rude if that is the only way to communicate what have already politely tried to communicate.

Best wishes, Schwing