Is it the lashing out that soothes them or the pain they cause?

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

After reading another post here about people with BPD lashing out to soothe it got me to wondering.

My ex with BPD would start her verbal assault and continue getting nastier and nastier until she got a response from me.  So it makes me wonder, is it the act of raging that makes them feel better or is it the hurt response they get from a non that soothes them. 

My question is, what about the raging actually soothes them?

[hithere]

After reading another post here about people with BPD lashing out to soothe it got me to wondering.

My ex with BPD would start her verbal assault and continue getting nastier and nastier until she got a response from me.  So it makes me wonder, is it the act of raging that makes them feel better or is it the hurt response they get from a non that soothes them. 

My question is, what about the raging actually soothes them?