Is your BPD partner irritated by sounds? AKA his children.

[DramaEverything]

My uBPDh is so irritated at the slighted noises.  Mostly from the kids.  If the kids are sucking on a sucker and he hears one "suck sound", he will completely rage. He tells them if he hears that again, they are going to throw it away. 

After they finish drinking a drink and they are crunching on the ice, he tells them to put the cup away. 

When we are in the car, he tells them to "stop talking"  "hush"!

If they are upstairs walking around, scooting, playing, he rages big time.   

They could be in the computer room watching videos on Youtube and he constantly yelling, "turn it down!", (which it wasn't very loud in the first place).  When all the while, he has his laptop 10x louder and doesn't seem to bother him.  I have to tell him to turn his down!

 

He thinks the boys are constantly yelling/talking too loud, and/or screaming, which they aren't.  We always get in arguments about this. 

(By the way.  He plays drums.  He's not THAT sensitive to sounds.  I don't buy that bull.) 

So, is your partner as irritated as mine?   

[Rockylove]

I see this on and off with my bf.  He'll become very short tempered with the dogs (we don't have children)for no apparent reason~~although it is nothing more than them being dogs and their behavior is directly related to HIS training of them (or lack thereof).  Or it will be me... .  he says I talk too loud, but he'll scream like a banshee!  I can sense some underlying reason for the irritation but still haven't been able to put my finger on it. 

I think there may be too much noise in his head and anything external is going to be irritating.  I hope someone with more experience will jump in here and shed some light on the subject.

[bruceli]

... .  also bright light and looks... .  anyone else?  The good ole... .  why are you looking at me that way and why are you staring at me... .  HUH?

[VeryFree]

Yes, mostly the sounds I make:

- when eating (and really I'm a decent guy... . ).

- when I'm sitting and moving my legs.

- when I'm sleeping (okay: it seems I put down a whole rainforest every night).

- when I'm whistling.

- when I have a cold and breath heavy.

- and so on.

[daze]

Yes, my uBPDh becomes very irritated with his young kids' noise.  He yells and swears at them - raging, I guess.  I have tried to tell him that his kids are just kids and they don't deserve such treatment.  He also doesn't have consistent rules for their behavior at his house, which would probably help. 

Fortunately for the kids, they are with him every other weekend.  Hope their mom and her husband are not like that.   

[patientandclear]

Yes, my uBPDexbf was super sensitive to sounds.

[benny2]

Oh I use hear about the sighs. "Your always sighing" Gee, I wonder why, and to boot, he sighs more than me!

[GreenTea]

Humming, whistling, his daughter acting like a 5 year old (her age), kids playing on the playground, music from anywhere that he didn't turn on, the dishwasher, etc. etc.

Bright lights are another thing. We use no overhead lights in our home, only lamps. AND they may only be turned on when there is no daylight coming through the windows. Grrrr... .  

I also get the, "what was that sigh for?" and "why are you looking at me like that?"

[Kunoichi]

My hubby gets irritated by any and everything.

It's funny but he was a vol. firefighter and ran into burning buildings with no mask or breathing apparatus but he couldn't handle the smoke from my ciggies when I used to smoke.

He plays the tv at insane volumes but if I have a radio on low it's too loud.

He turns ON every light in our house. I'm the one constantly telling him to turn them off .

He does not like to be around children because they are too loud and hyper.

I'm not allowed to have the sound turned on for my laptop even at level 5 of 100

He constantly wakes me up claiming that I'm snoring ( I do but it's not earth shattering). I accuse him of waking himself up with his own snoring because that man sounds like he's leveling skyscrapers sometimes.

And omg the "why are you looking at me?" His WHOLE family has that problem. They have this paranoia about someone looking at them so either they're all BPD which I'm not so sure they aren't or his is a learned behavior from them.

I don't get questioned about how I'm looking at him because he knows the looks he gets are warranted .

[No Black Tie Man]

Yes. Very much so. She is easily irritated by the kids; it is often a precursor, or a warning maybe, to her blowing up at me. Any noises that she makes are ok, even if me or the older daughter is trying to sleep.

Oh the lights. She can't stand flourescent lights, or overhead lights. So every room in our house is lit by lamps with those GE Reveal bulbs, which are way more expensive than regular bulbs, and the lamps are on all day. From morning till night every lamp in the house is on.

[bruceli]

Oh yah... .  how could I have forgotten the eating... .  EATING! 

Yes, mostly the sounds I make:

- when eating (and really I'm a decent guy... . ).

- when I'm sitting and moving my legs.

- when I'm sleeping (okay: it seems I put down a whole rainforest every night).

- when I'm whistling.

- when I have a cold and breath heavy.

- and so on.