For others here with adopted kids - kind of puts their feelings in perspective

[BioAdoptMom3]

To my Adoptive Mother

(written in adopted child language) by Stacy Manning

I think this also helps us realize why so many adopted children are diagnosed with BPD!

On Mother's Day I can't just think of you.

I am not sure one person can love two moms,

I wonder if I am supposed to choose…

maybe if I choose her she'll choose me this time.

I am not good enough.

On Mother's Day I can't be only happy that I have you

because it means I don't have her.

I am sad.

On Mother's Day I can't just be peaceful

I am so worried I am going to mess up, I don't understand

what is really expected from me,

I just want to run away or crawl in a hole.

I am anxious.

On Mother's Day I can't believe I am good

enough to have a mom like you.

I know that mothers leave…

Before you leave me I have to push you away

so it won't hurt so much.

I am scared.

On Mother's Day I can't feel vulnerable enough

to show you how much I need you.

I will need to create a smoke screen of behaviors,

words and choices that will cover that vulnerability up.

I am a survivor.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[cfh]

BioAdoptMom

I've been off this board for a while... .  I just needed a break.  I have 2 adopted kids 28 and 29.  One with BPD and one (non) who has suffered greatly as a result of growing up with a BPD brother.

I printed this out not to give to my BPD son but to give it to my non BPD son.

He is the one who I think will most identify with those feelings.

30 years ago I had a very different feeling about adoption-I thought we would just love them and give them a great life and they would be fine. 

Now I often wonder if we were doing the right thing for our boys... .  taking them away from their bio moms and their environment.