School, such an invalidating environment

[heronbird]

My dds nearly 19 now, school was the worse place for her, I understand that now.

At school, she was just a number, she cried a lot there, she hated it there, got bullied and teachers seemed to not like her. Eventually she skipped a lot of school to the point of us having loads of meetings etc.

I thought they tried to help her but I realise now they were not looking at the root problems. They never tried to diagnose or refer her to psych or doctor.

She got treated like a rebellious teen most of the time.

So about a year ago I decided to write to the head, well I realise dd not there anymore but I thought if they could hear what I went through then maybe they could help others better.

Well, I never heard from them so I decided to email and ask if they got my letter.

Anyway they had got it and had replied, I did not ever receive the reply so I read it.

Basically they just said what a shame and they have a lot of sympathy for us as a family. They didnt want to discuss a pupil who is no longer there. So they just dont care. I told them that I am running a BPD group so that if any parent wanted support, I could talk to them.

It s like when I wrote to my doctors surgery. I wrote that dd was 16, she went to doc saying that she heard voices telling her  to jump under train, the voices were getting worse and louder and she was scared she was going to do it as she has come too close to it. She was working at the time and using the tube twice a day. The doctor just gave her a pack of antidepressants and let her go home. Unbelievable.

The doctors surgery just replied, well, what do you want us to do about it, that doc has left now. If you want to come and discuss it with one of the doctors you are welcome to.

Gosh so bad, people need to care more.

Its so wrong isnt it, I really want to make schools more aware especially as early intervention is so important and I dont want people to end up like me, Id never heard of BPD, I wish I had of.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Bless you heronbird for trying to pay it forward.

Have you thought of gathering the email addresses of school counselors and sending them info on BPD in adolescents along with a brief history of your d's experience in school?  End the letter with contact info to pass along to parents of children who have issues?

There seems to me to be some level of residual bitterness (understandable) towards the schools and professionals that failed your family.  I hope that your activism helps relieve that so that you can be more at peace.

 

lbjnltx

[heronbird]

Ibj,

what a brilliant idea. I will look into that. I just think we can learn from the past to help the next lot of people who are suffering. I also felt what a waste of money it is to employ a school counsellor who does nothing to help these families.