Annuity recieved now from years before meeting BPD H can he get any?

[Zena321]

I know we can't give "legal advice" but also know there are some lawyers on here so please if anyone has a good answer HELP   !

My estranged H and I have been apart 7 years now not leagally , he left me abruptly of course I never wanted this . This Oct. will be our "10 year " marriage anniversery Ha Ha . We did continue a relationship for another 2 and a half years after he moved out being that of 3 day weekends at our co owned house he moved into . I have been in a house I owned before we met in 2000.

He since met someone in '08 moved her in '09 been with her since,quit his job 2012 and is now on S.S. disability ( I have been disabled since before we married.)Presently we are both only 49.And have no children together.

I still have a mortgage on my home I have struggled to make (twice as much as, an equity loan he took out on our home shortly after we married.

My Big question I have an annuity from an insurance policy that is large enough to pay my home off and then some that I get every so many years from my moms passing in '87 .I will get the last payment in 5 years.So this money and that last check will have to last me many years as I am only 49.

So presently a big bank account suddenly.

I plan on finally filing for divorce this year I figure what the heck he never helped me when I was living on food stamps and assistance waiting for this check and he was working making 5 times as much as me. This year being 10 years at least I can get a higher S.S. check on his record and it still won't take a nickle from him .

But can he get any of my money ?Any part of my house ? Should I pay off my house before filing so there is less in the bank ? He knew I got the annuity (not the amount) I lied and told him it was gone because he expected me to give him thousands to pay him for health insurance from back when he left me ( I gave him some but after being threatened about the rest I didn't give him anymore ).

I live in MA an equitable state so if I hadn't been so afraid of him all this time I should have divorced him a few years back when he was working he would have been ordered to pay me alimony now instead of 5x as much as me its almost twice as much plus he has his GF supporting him she makes good money.

[ForeverDad]

Is it some sort of inheritance?  A 'gift' to you?  Generally inheritances, and perhaps gifts too, are not considered part of marital assets unless it has been commingled with marital assets or funds.  So my peer support suggestion is not to mix it with anything that might be considered marital assets until you've have firm legal advice locally.  Laws vary from state to state.  This is too important to make guesses about.  A family law attorney and a knowledgeable accountant in your state should be consulted for legal advice.

[Zena321]

It is not commingled at all it was recieved years after he left and I opened a bank account in my name only with it.

We have not had joint bank accounts since he left and stopped his direct deposit 3 days after into our joint checking account and refused me any kind of support. When I asked even for a lousy 50 bucks a week until I could do something he told me to have my 14 and 16 year olds to quit school and support me while my 19 year old had just found out he had cancer and started chemo a week before he left.

The house he lives in though is in both our names and was given to us by his parents (both have passed away now) a couple months before we married as a wedding gift they believed he finally found the right woman LOL they loved me. That house is deeded joint tenant,not an inheritance.

[ForeverDad]

Then it is very likely the jointly owned house is a marital asset, though I'd expect him to claim anyway that since you don't live there anymore then you shouldn't get anything from it.  That's probably a weak argument in court.  Let the lawyers or court decide, don't feel you have to give in just because he pressures you or makes extensive claims.  And also likely the annuity is a personal asset.  (So don't use any of your money to pay down anything that might be remotely considered marital debt, not until the divorce is final.)  Of course, I am not a legal professional, so it would be worth the expense to get a legal opinion from an expert in your state.  Sounds like it's time to get some legal consultations and choose a lawyer sooner rather than later.

[Zena321]

Thank you FD for some of your opinions I am going to look for some consultations before spending any money . I have had a friend tell me beware the GF maybe running up debt you may not be aware of. I said that can't be my responsibility as it is she has been living there free.

I believe he may have even paid for her to go back to school to get a better job and degree shortly after she moved in. I know she hasn't paid him towards bills since we have always filed joint taxes using my address except this year. He  decided we would file using the other address for the two of us .I asked if she paid him rent at all ever since we would have to claim it on our taxes and he said no.

So in my defense I believe she owes me a few years of rent divided by 2 LOL since he has always lived here all these years according to the IRS and his employer up until he quit and changed his address with them to "our second home".

Sorry I know there is a bit of sarcasm in my post after all the pain and hurt and years he devasted,scared and controlled me even after he left it might feel nice if somehow I can even put a small scratch on him and he still doesn't get the last cut which I still feel he will somehow.

The effect he had on my life is forever its nice to see others here have been healing slowly some but surely , I on the other hand do feel Broken Forever .