On the Verge of an Emotional Breakdown

[Matt]

Monster.com is good.

Find every company in the area that employs people with your background, and look on their web sites to find what jobs are open.  Apply on their sites, but also find who is doing the hiring - or a person higher-up who would be responsible for that area - and send a customized cover letter with your resume, and then follow up with a phone call to that person, asking for a meeting - not for a job, but for a meeting.

See if you can network - talk to people who might know people - get references so you can say, "I talked to John Smith and he suggested I call you."  Go for meetings, not a job - then in the meeting establish your value to the company.

If there is a small-business incubator in your area, meet with the head of it and offer to provide services to their clients pro bono.

[mamachelle]

This is a really good book I highly recommend.

What Color Is Your Parachute?


If you have a fallback skill like waiter, bartender, ditch digger, then it might be a good time to pick up a shift.

Temp agencies for legal.

Hire a job expert in your field to get your resume out there.

Also, interning and volunteering are good in your area of interest or faith. Big brother, big sister, red cross, church, temple, mosque.

Join rotary or other networking group with student rates.

Use the library resources for job hunters.

[sfbayjed]

I don't think there is anything wrong allowing yourself to breakdown emotionally as long as it isn't in front of the kids.  It doesn't not mean you are weak or anything. Having a breakdown means that you have feelings that you need to work through and it is sometimes necessary to feel before you can begin to heal.

[BPDdaddy]

I just had an interview for a paid internship today, and I think the tough things I am trying to explain are (1) Why I am switching out of the Public Defenders office (public interest to paid in the middle of the summer).  and (2) My GPA, which is probably about as good as it can be  when you have your second child a week before your first semester finals and then go through divorce for the past two semesters, but explaining that this is your situation doesn't help you sell yourself from a position of strength. 

[livednlearned]

I don't know technically what a nervous breakdown is, but whatever happened in the two years after leaving my N/BPDxh, I must've been a contender. It's probably a rite of passage for a lot of us here, to come close to breaking down completely.

My hunch is that you won't break down, that you are stronger than you know and can make it through what might be one of the hardest things you ever go through.

One thing that helped me was to realize that anxiety is a form of imagination. And a lot of nons feel tremendous anxiety -- for good reason. But it's contagious, and spreads, and can start to pollute your thinking. You need to get a grip on it and start looking at what parts of this big mess are in your control and what parts aren't. For the most part, how you respond to stress is within your control.

When you control your stress, your thinking gets better. If you walked into my office looking for a job and told me that you had some serious family emergencies during your first year of law school, and had to juggle not only a full load of course work, but family responsibilities and a turn of events you never expected, I would respect you tremendously.

I don't know how old you are, but I'm in my 40s. Most of the people who do the hiring are in their 40s or higher. Most people our age have been through the meat grinder in one way or another. You stayed in law school instead of dropping out during a family crisis? That tells me you are resilient and persistent, and have grit. It tells me that you are tenacious. The dirty secret about a lot of employers is that they could care less about your GPA. Maybe it helps you get your first job, although probably not as much as the name of the school you attend. But for the kind of work you're seeking, I am guessing it is less important than your character.

You don't have to go into any details about why your GPA is low, or why you are making a different decision about summer work at this point in the game. You simply say that due to a family crisis, you are adapting your plan to accommodate the circumstances. It isn't the plan you laid out, and it isn't the one you would ever sign up for, but you have goals and working for XYZ is, at this point in time, with these conditions, the best way to achieve those goals.

I'm in academia and can't tell you how many times doors open for me because of character. Sure, there are rock stars who do everything perfectly, but your path is different. Your tests are different, and you need to reframe what your strengths are so that people can see what is positive about them.

That's why you need to get a grip on the anxiety. You are strong and resilient, and this will not break you.

[momtara]

Livednlearned, you're SMART.