never posted on this board before.

[Depression = 72% of members]

I've never posted on this board as I've only experienced BPD with a recently parted ex.

The thing is she has two boys aged 5 & 7 from her previous relationship. She's not diagnosed & thinks everything's me & I'm the one with the issues. That said, she's always reading self help books so I've always thought she knows there's a problem but any admittance seems far far away from happening.

I've never spoken to her family about any possible diagnosis. But I have always had a fantastic relationship with her mother & step father. They love their grandchildren very much & if there's anything that tempts me to privately approach her family, it's my concerns about the future for those two amazing little boys.

She's always appeared to me to be a very loving attentive mum & treats both children as equally as possible. The youngest is a certain attention seeker though I've noticed that. Generally they seem quite happy little boys, but there's no doubt their mum is high functioning BPD. Raging (only mildly in front of kids, when I've been on receiving end & left immediately to prevent them seeing such horrors from mum). Also I've never lived with her but frequently stayed for days at a time.

I've wondered if as the boys grow to teen years & young men, will the ride really get going for them then? When they're trying to establish themselves as less dependent of her for example & define themselves as young men? I fully understand that chances of her being BPD & it not effecting children is ridiculous.

What would be typical high functioning BPD behavior from parent to child please?

Your views will be gratefully received and will hopefully help me decide whether to speak to her parents.

Thanks in advance Moonie

[Moonie75]

I've never posted on this board as I've only experienced BPD with a recently parted ex.

The thing is she has two boys aged 5 & 7 from her previous relationship. She's not diagnosed & thinks everything's me & I'm the one with the issues. That said, she's always reading self help books so I've always thought she knows there's a problem but any admittance seems far far away from happening.

I've never spoken to her family about any possible diagnosis. But I have always had a fantastic relationship with her mother & step father. They love their grandchildren very much & if there's anything that tempts me to privately approach her family, it's my concerns about the future for those two amazing little boys.

She's always appeared to me to be a very loving attentive mum & treats both children as equally as possible. The youngest is a certain attention seeker though I've noticed that. Generally they seem quite happy little boys, but there's no doubt their mum is high functioning BPD. Raging (only mildly in front of kids, when I've been on receiving end & left immediately to prevent them seeing such horrors from mum). Also I've never lived with her but frequently stayed for days at a time.

I've wondered if as the boys grow to teen years & young men, will the ride really get going for them then? When they're trying to establish themselves as less dependent of her for example & define themselves as young men? I fully understand that chances of her being BPD & it not effecting children is ridiculous.

What would be typical high functioning BPD behavior from parent to child please?

Your views will be gratefully received and will hopefully help me decide whether to speak to her parents.

Thanks in advance Moonie

[Sitara]

I know it's not generally suggested to talk to the person with BPD about it, but I don't know what the suggested route is with family members.  I would be interested in that myself.  I often wonder if talking to my dad about my uBPD mom would do any good.

What would be typical high functioning BPD behavior from parent to child please?

There are a lot of posts from us kids with high functioning parents among these pages.  If you're just looking for a general idea, you might find it helpful to read some.  Otherwise, if you have specific questions, let us know and we may be able to answer them better.

My sister has two kids, and she displays many of the traits of BPD (whether it's just learned or she has the disorder also, I don't know).  I also wonder if there is anything I can do for them.

I don't know if there is really much you can do in this situation.  Feeling helpless is the worst.