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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: iPhone text messages from spouse (pages & pages of her texts without reply)  (Read 700 times)
ogopogodude
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Gender: Male
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 513


« on: August 12, 2013, 01:34:43 PM »

I cannot believe the pages and pages of the barrages of texts on my cell (iPhone 4s) without any reply (by me). Any body else have an obsessive (soon-to-be-) ex-spouse that won't let up on contacting them? She breaks the restraining order each and every day.
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ForeverDad
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
Posts: 18803


You can't reason with the Voice of Unreason...


« Reply #1 on: August 12, 2013, 03:18:01 PM »

My ex is the opposite, most of the time she avoids written communication.

As for your RO, are you letting the option to seek enforcement get weakened by not reporting her attempts?  Or did you already report it and were told to "come back if it gets worse"?
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livednlearned
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 12865



« Reply #2 on: August 12, 2013, 05:07:58 PM »

I used to get the same kind of barrage. One night, more than 100+ messages for 12 hours straight. Often, the most obsessive messaging happened at night, so I suspect it was fueled by alcohol.

Are you in an active custody battle? Keep good copies of the text messages, and count them. I entered that information as evidence in my recent trial. "N/BPDx sent close to 10,000 emails between x and x date. The majority of these messages were sent at night and the crude, threatening, and abusive messages deteriorated over the course of the evening, suggested he was inebriated."

I ended up with sole custody.
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Breathe.
coffee shop
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« Reply #3 on: August 12, 2013, 09:30:25 PM »

the record for me was 88 phone calls between 11pm and 8am. I called my attorney in the morning, she contacted his attorney and the calls stopped. Of course his excuse to his attorney was that he kept calling because he was so concerned for my safety since I didn't answer he thought something was wrong. My attorney asked his, if that was the reason, why didn't he call my daughter who lived just minutes away or the 911 to send someone to check on me. Funny thing is he repeated the same excuses in front of a judge when we used the phone records as part of the reason for the PFA. The judge did not fall for his excuses.
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livednlearned
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« Reply #4 on: August 13, 2013, 09:47:59 AM »

She breaks the restraining order each and every day.

If you bring up the RO in court, this is going to get some attention. How are you enforcing the RO?
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Breathe.
ogopogodude
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« Reply #5 on: August 14, 2013, 10:29:25 PM »

Three times this happened: I would inform my lawyer, ... . my lawyer would contact her lawyer (then she would presumably be given a lecture to stop her nonsense). Then she learned this "boundary" for a little while, ... then she would start up again, ... . process repeat.

    I even contacted the police twice, ... they would call her, ... her behaviour would be altered for a short time... . and then go back to the same old s***.

   But paying my lawyer $450/each event, ... . is a waste of time. Reports to police are free, ... informing (cheesy) lawyers are not. It is my belief that in law school they teach the law students to toss out any morals/ethics out the window except one ingrained ethic (no divulging client:lawyer privilege information). It is also my belief that they teach their law students that ... . "if you get a divorce case whereby one of the spouses is a BPD person, ... . KACHING $$$ and keep this case going as long as you can, ... because their assets, ... will all be YOUR assets, dear law student"... .  

   But this is only my opinion.
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mistrix

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« Reply #6 on: August 18, 2013, 07:22:07 PM »

I cannot believe the pages and pages of the barrages of texts on my cell (iPhone 4s) without any reply (by me). Any body else have an obsessive (soon-to-be-) ex-spouse that won't let up on contacting them? She breaks the restraining order each and every day.

My exBPD only did that when one of his hoochies put him into the "friendzone", and it was mainly to blame me for it occurring, along with some other bizarro rants. Thankfully, the other hoochie didnt pass him off, and has become the object of his obsession. (She to, exhibits BPD symptoms; good for him, better for me)

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TRexwrangler

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« Reply #7 on: August 21, 2013, 09:35:48 PM »

We found a text blocker app that works brilliantly.  Smiling (click to insert in post)
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