I read a very interesting article yesterday called, "Technology Based Stalking"

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I was doing some poking around on some websites yesterday, trying to find some resources for victims of domestic violence and abuse, and I came across an article that completely floored me.

This article talked about Domestic Violence victims, and it told some of their stories and about some of the "technology" methods their abusers have used to stalk, harass and spy on them, and to try to hunt them down! Its called, "Technology Based Stalking" ! Amazing, simply amazing that for the first time, after reading this article, I actually felt validated and realized that "I am NOT the crazy wacky person that he's trying to make me out to be." I sat there stunned as I read down thru all these technology based methods they use to harass, stalk and intimidate their victims, and that some of them even go to such extremes as to put little GPS tracking devices in their victims cars, so that they can monitor everywhere they go.

The article told of a victim who found that her abuser had hidden one of those devices under the hood of her car! Gee, now the article has me thinking. Maybe I better have someone check my car too! I also learned that the "internet smear campaign" that he lodged against me, that I talked about on here... . is also a common technology-based tool they use to harass their victims!

Believe me, it felt like I was reading my own story! I saved the site so that I can go back in and print it out. Gee, it felt soo good to know that I am not nuts, just to know that there is a name for it... what he did to me, and I now realize that this is what I've been going thru with him. That's exactly what he has been doing... . like I said, using the internet and technology, and it got a lot worse and more intense when I left him last time, cuz he was angry at me for leaving. I just don't understand why I could not get people to understand that this was what he was doing. The article also described how, if you take away or find a way to STOP one of their "spy/control" methods, they will just find another way to do it.

I am convinced that he is just plain "obsessed with control"  that he's just not gonna stop doing it, but rather tries to change his methods whenever he thinks I am figuring out what he's doing. I made up my mind that I have two choices... . either continue to live like this, or try to do something to help myself. I did do something. We had another big fight over the weekend, and I finally just couldn't keep it inside anymore. I told him to his face that I WANT OUT, that I DONT WANT TO LIVE THIS WAY ANYMORE! I am noticing that sure, now that he feels threatened again, "he's trying to play the nicey-nicey, turn on the 'ol charm" game again. But... . it aint gonna work for him this time! He even had the nerve to ask me if we can use the same lawyer!

I said, "What, are you nuts? No way." I saw right thru his game plan, and said, "Why, cuz you think if you can get me to agree to use the same lawyer as you, then you can make me feel obligated to help you pay your lawyer cost, by telling me that I have to pay for 1/2 of it?" I said, "its always all about you, and how you can manipulate the situation to your own advantage, what's in it for you, what you can get out of it, right?" He just stood there. I said, "no thanks. I'll get my own, someone who has MY best interests at heart, NOT yours!" I may not be working right now, but I did discover that I do have resources that I can tap in to, that I totally forgot that I had. So, its starting to look like I might be able to finally get free of this abusive relationship, after all!

[MatzlanGirl]

I was doing some poking around on some websites yesterday, trying to find some resources for victims of domestic violence and abuse, and I came across an article that completely floored me.

This article talked about Domestic Violence victims, and it told some of their stories and about some of the "technology" methods their abusers have used to stalk, harass and spy on them, and to try to hunt them down! Its called, "Technology Based Stalking" ! Amazing, simply amazing that for the first time, after reading this article, I actually felt validated and realized that "I am NOT the crazy wacky person that he's trying to make me out to be." I sat there stunned as I read down thru all these technology based methods they use to harass, stalk and intimidate their victims, and that some of them even go to such extremes as to put little GPS tracking devices in their victims cars, so that they can monitor everywhere they go.

The article told of a victim who found that her abuser had hidden one of those devices under the hood of her car! Gee, now the article has me thinking. Maybe I better have someone check my car too! I also learned that the "internet smear campaign" that he lodged against me, that I talked about on here... . is also a common technology-based tool they use to harass their victims!

Believe me, it felt like I was reading my own story! I saved the site so that I can go back in and print it out. Gee, it felt soo good to know that I am not nuts, just to know that there is a name for it... what he did to me, and I now realize that this is what I've been going thru with him. That's exactly what he has been doing... . like I said, using the internet and technology, and it got a lot worse and more intense when I left him last time, cuz he was angry at me for leaving. I just don't understand why I could not get people to understand that this was what he was doing. The article also described how, if you take away or find a way to STOP one of their "spy/control" methods, they will just find another way to do it.

I am convinced that he is just plain "obsessed with control"  that he's just not gonna stop doing it, but rather tries to change his methods whenever he thinks I am figuring out what he's doing. I made up my mind that I have two choices... . either continue to live like this, or try to do something to help myself. I did do something. We had another big fight over the weekend, and I finally just couldn't keep it inside anymore. I told him to his face that I WANT OUT, that I DONT WANT TO LIVE THIS WAY ANYMORE! I am noticing that sure, now that he feels threatened again, "he's trying to play the nicey-nicey, turn on the 'ol charm" game again. But... . it aint gonna work for him this time! He even had the nerve to ask me if we can use the same lawyer!

I said, "What, are you nuts? No way." I saw right thru his game plan, and said, "Why, cuz you think if you can get me to agree to use the same lawyer as you, then you can make me feel obligated to help you pay your lawyer cost, by telling me that I have to pay for 1/2 of it?" I said, "its always all about you, and how you can manipulate the situation to your own advantage, what's in it for you, what you can get out of it, right?" He just stood there. I said, "no thanks. I'll get my own, someone who has MY best interests at heart, NOT yours!" I may not be working right now, but I did discover that I do have resources that I can tap in to, that I totally forgot that I had. So, its starting to look like I might be able to finally get free of this abusive relationship, after all!