parenting evaluation?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

So BPD wife was interviewed by the GAL.   She hasn't even spoken to me yet and she is already recommending a parenting evaluation for both of us.

My lawyer said she has never seen that before.   Anyone ever faced that before?   

I am fine with it.   I have nothing to hide and know I am a great parent.

[suffering_parent]

So BPD wife was interviewed by the GAL.   She hasn't even spoken to me yet and she is already recommending a parenting evaluation for both of us.

My lawyer said she has never seen that before.   Anyone ever faced that before?   

I am fine with it.   I have nothing to hide and know I am a great parent.

[ForeverDad]

It's possible that your spouse was making a huge number of allegations about you in an attempt to get the kids and receive child support rather than pay it.  However I hope and feel it's far more likely that the GAL grew concerned about your spouse's behaviors, perceptions, remoteness and worldview.  If so, you may have a good GAL.

I had a parenting investigation by the court's social worker 7 months into my divorce case, it was step #3, right after temp order and mediation.  It took 4 months and the investigator recommended I move up from alternate weekends to 50/50 parenting time.  Court ignored it - as it did any other recommended changes during the 2 year divorce case.  Since a social worker couldn't comment on custody, a custody evaluation was recommended.  The court did that.  I was prepared to ask for a custody evaluation, but didn't need to.

[scraps66]

I've never even heard of this, but as a portion of my psych eval, my Dr. administered a "parenting" test or two.  In my courthouse, and even with, it sounds as if nothing changes unless there is physical harm to a child.  Sad, but true, and the, message sent by the Delco Court is, if you want somethnig, be prepared to pay.  I speak with a bitter, jaded tongue, but these little exercises, like the co-parent counseling - are a useless waste of time and money.  One, due to the volatility of involving the mentally ill, and two, due to the incompetence of the individuals invovled in addressing number ONE.

My god my speling stinks when under the influence of merlot.

[ForeverDad]

My god my speling stinks when... .

Then switch to FireFox, it has a built-in as-you-type spellchecker.   Me?  I keep forgetting to partake.

[ZigofZag]

Could be that your ex has already made allegations about you and that is why there is an assessment pending. I am in England and so the rules are slightly different, I am also being assessed as a parent after she made false allegations. Be careful.

[scraps66]

If there is this parenting evaluation, it would be good if you could "go first" and this may be what is happening.  I have learned when things go silent, there is some plan afoot. Eerie silence.

[ZigofZag]

If there is this parenting evaluation, it would be good if you could "go first" and this may be what is happening.  I have learned when things go silent, there is some plan afoot. Eerie silence.

I agree with this.

Again, without knowing the system elsewhere (actually still learning the system here) I would also suggest legal advice asap too. Even if it's just a fact finder to understand your rights etc.'

[suffering_parent]

I finally met with the GAL.   She is really good and realized something was off on my wife.   She is going so crazy from the stress and flinging so many accusations.

I think I am in a pretty good position at this point.

[ForeverDad]

I've always looked good to the professional associated with my case, during and after the divorce.  I had a very favorable parenting investigation by the court's social worker as well as a good custody evaluation report.  I still had an uphill struggle.  I was alternate weekend parent throughout the two year divorce.  It took three more years to get custody.  Over two more years have passed and I'm currently moving slowly in a 14-15 month Motion to Modify Parenting Time seeking majority time.  Lots of little baby steps.

Be thankful you've gotten a good GAL, as it seems so far.  Still, don't be overconfident.  Many disordered parents are not seen as unfit parents if they're not seen as abusive, neglectful or endangering.  So be sure to report the poor behaviors, focusing on the poor parenting behaviors since those get more attention than the poor adult behaviors.

[ZigofZag]

Well said Foreverdad. Great advice. Very, very true.

Stay real, keep expectation levels low and understand that it is all about the little ones and how they are with them.

Often my wife is superb in front of the professionals and the mask comes off as soon as the door closes. Consummate performer, plays the assessments perfectly.