Such a lovely letter

[heronbird]

My daughter sent me a little letter this morning, she sent it from hospital, she does not want any visitors, as she is so bad right now.

I believe the reason I got this letter is because of the things I have learnt mainly from Valerie Porrs book

This is what it says,

You are so amazing I dont deserve a mum like you, I love you so so much, thankyou for everything you do for me I appreciate it so much, Im so glad I have you and that I know I  can tell you anything and you dont judge me, (haha, Valerie said she thought I was a bit judgemental towards dd) you dont get angry because you have worked so hard to understand BPD. (funny, that, she said she didnt have BPD a few months ago)

Sorry, you cant visit but its so nice to know you want to. I dont know anyone who is lucky to have a mum like you.

So sad, you can see what a lovely person she is cant you :'( and you can see why I love her so much.

I have many letters like that from her. I know its because of the tools that I have learnt.

Its not perfect, but better than what it could be  

This site has helped me so so much, all you people on here are like gold     

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[griz]

Oh Heronbird, what a lovely letter.  It actually brought tears to my eyes.  Yes she is lucky to have a mum like you.  YOu are a wonderful person and a terrific mum. She is a lovely person. Don't ever let this disease define her.

And thank you to you to for all the words of wisdom you share.

Love,

Griz

[ilusa26]

My daughter also writes lovely notes/letters time to time.  But her actions say different things.

But we should be happy with what little we get...

[Rapt Reader]

So sad, you can see what a lovely person she is cant you :'( and you can see why I love her so much.

I have many letters like that from her. I know its because of the tools that I have learnt.

Its not perfect, but better than what it could be  

Oh, heronbird~~That letter is really wonderful, and does show you where her true self and heart is; it's the kind of thing that keeps us parents hopeful of a better life for our kids with BPD. Keeps us reading, learning and working on ourselves... .

And, it may not be perfect, but it is nice to have your support and love for her validated. Thanks for sharing   

[heronbird]

It is a lovely letter, and tonight I went to drop a book to her in hospital, she would not stop hugging me, she was so pleased to see me and told me she missed me so much, I told her to let me visit her then she wouldnt miss me  

She hugged me so tight and for so long.

Why couldnt she had been like this when she met her dh and decided to try for a baby, its all too late now. Its all such a mess.

Thank you for all your encouragement, you are all so wize too

[Reality]

Dear heronbird,

Your daughter is very sweet and she does love you dearly.  You are both lucky to have each other.

It is good that she is able to express her appreciation so well. 

Makes me teary, too.

Our darlings can be truly sweet.

Reality

[six]

Beautiful letter, Heron. 

She is able to appreciate your efforts on her behalf

at least some of the time

frame it

[qcarolr]

heronbird - so glad you D is able to show you her true love with this letter. I know our girls love us and need us. So nice when they can accept the love we have for them like this. It is sad about her marriage and mothering troubles. She has accepted being in hospital to work on this.

Give that baby a hug from me.

qcr  

[heronbird]

You know I have not seen the baby for 10 days now :'( :'( :'(

How sad it feels, I miss him a lot

[mggt]

Dear heroin,  So happy for you and your d she seems to really appreciate you and all that you do.  I have read some of your past posts and so very sorry about your gs going to live with his dad.  Praying for all of you for a different outcome for gs and a happy and healthy outcome for you and your d take care and keep on plugging away    mggt

[qcarolr]

You know I have not seen the baby for 10 days now :'( :'( :'(

How sad it feels, I miss him a lot

Oh heronbird. So sorry I missed this being mostly out of touch here this past week. Will keep prayers for the daddy to be in  contact with you, and for gs to be safe a loved.

qcr  

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[heronbird]

Thanks mggt and qcarolr

Its a bit strange because I didnt seem to miss him for the first week, now its hitting me.

Its nice to have a lovely letter like that, I have had quite a few over the years, they used to confuse me as before I read Valeries book we had quite a lot of conflict and it seemed that she hated me (I hate you, please dont leave me)

It just makes me realise she is  a lovely girl truly. Last week I was so concerned for her, now I feel she is safe and in the right place so I guess Ive relaxed about that, Ive got over the injustice of the lies and twisting of my words by XSIL. So now I am left with just missing GS.

Should I text XSIL and just ask him how gs is? and that im sorry the way things turned out for him. My dh says no, dont do it yet. He says ask ss on Monday when I have a meeting with them. Dh says that XSIL might think that we are not coping and he will be pleased and he will carry on on his own. I know what he means.

Ss say just wait, they seem to think he will come to us, Im not so sure. I do wonder how a man on his own will find it with no support, all his friends are druggies and he has no family. But hes done it for 10 days now and seems ok.

Thank you, keep praying.  

[qcarolr]

heronbird - the waiting is the hardest sometimes. yet, often the best way to go. Then if xSIL asks for your involvement, it will be coming from him. Does he have support of his parents with gs?

Even though working with ss may seem frustrating at times, they do deal with this daily in many different/similar situations. Try to keep an open mind. They are watching gs and xSIL.

qcr    

[heronbird]

No, XSIL has no family who are interested and no friends. Having said that, maybe he is getting a sympathy vote from his family and they may be helping him now, I dont know, they didnt want to know the baby when I had him, his mum lives 4 hours drive away, she has custody of her dds baby.

His sisters had 2 babies taken away from her, his brother is in prison and another brother is violent and aggressive.

My dd texted him yesterday for the first time, and he replied, dont ever speak to me again.

She got so angry she smashed a plate and cut her arm very deeply :'( :'(

She just told me she is falling for another guy, one on the ward      oh help hahaha

Life is never boring, I cant write a book on it, it would be too long.

[qcarolr]

Just can't imagine the pain your D is in. So glad she can reach out to you, and you are there for her. Keeping you in my thoughts for the ss meeting Monday.

qcr  

[pessim-optimist]

I just want to say - your DD is a beautiful person and you are a wonderful mum... .