Cant figure out what to do

[genielove]

My boyfriend, along with many other people with BPD has been increasingly threatening me with plans to hurt himself whenever I feel sad because of something that he did. For example in the last week (after I found him cheating again despite us having a 4.5 years relationship) he locked himself in the bathroom with a knife (never planning to do anything with it but knowing I wont leave him alone if he has it) and has threatened to "take care of both of our problems once and for all". He has never actually harmed himself but threatens so often when we argue so that the attention is back on him that I make a conscious effort to remove all of the weapons from the house.

How can I explain to him (he hasn't started therapy yet but fingers crossed soon) that threatening to hurt himself after he hurts me in other ways (lying, manipulating, breaking doors etc) is just another way to hurt me. He is very intelligent but doesnt grasp empathy and perspective.

I want to be able to make a decision about what to do moving forward but I cant if I am being threatened and have to supervise him everytime things get heated.

[living in the past]

I am just starting understand that there two people in a relationship. And l count.my brsy wishes to you.this site will help.

[ugghh]

Around this time last year (holidays seem to trigger almost every pwBPD) my uBPDw was lying on the bathroom floor threatening to take a bottle of pills.  Whilst I tried to stop her - yes I fell right into the trap - I called my sons for help.  The oldest one did the smartest thing I could have thought of in this situation - he called 911.  Police and EMS responded and she was mighty upset that she had to spend the night for psych eval.  I am glad he had the courage to do it.  Sadly, no change in behavior resulted and she lashed out at me, the police, EMS, hospital, etc.

Probably why a year later I am edging to the leaving board.