Exploring Spirituality, Finding a Higher Power

[Suzn]

We speak of or hear talk of spirituality and having a higher power in recovery often. What does having a higher power mean, why is it helpful?

A few reasons I've come across in my search

• It enables you to be humble.  You realize that you aren't the most powerful person in the world, and you have needs that you can't meet on your own. Humility is huge in recovery because you must be willing to accept feedback and follow helpful advice. Humility is not the same as self-deprecation, nor does it symbolize weakness.




• It gives you hope. The belief that it is possible for EVERYONE to change.  Sometimes in the depths of recovery, you think you can't ever change.  Believing that someone/something greater than yourself can help you provide the hope necessary to get help.




• You stop feeling so alone.  Isn't it nice to know that someone/something is on your side?  That no matter where you go or what you do your Higher Power will always be there?  Recovering from an addiction/codependency can be a lonely road at times, but you don't have to feel completely alone.  There's always one relationship that will you can always count on.




• You can let go.  If you begin to believe that you are not in control of everything--that sometimes things happen outside of your control--you are able to let go of trying to control everything that happens in your life.  It's quite a relief!  You can focus your energy on the things that are truly in your control and leave the rest to your Higher Power.

In using Stephanie S. Covington, PhD., author of “A Woman's Way Through the Twelve Steps” as a guide, her thoughts on the concept of a higher power~

First, it's important to define "Higher Power".  A lot of people get tripped up in 12 step because they lack faith that there is something or someone that is more powerful than themselves.  Some people have had poor experiences with religion and God, so they immediately reject the idea of a higher power.  Even if you don't believe in God, you can find a higher power. Entertain the possibility that help is available and that you "need to find someone or something [you] can trust."

With the benefits in mind, here a few thoughts and suggestions to help you find a Higher Power (taken from Dr. Covington's book and EDA, Eating Disorders Anonymous):

A higher power can be God, Mother Earth, Love, the Power of the Group, an Inner Light, the Universe, or anyone or anything that is more powerful than you, that you can trust to help you, that you can build a positive relationship with.  Your Higher Power probably shouldn't be someone like a therapist or sponsor or role model because everyone makes mistakes, and I believe that we are all created equal.  Try to find something greater than a single person.

In order to discover what your Higher Power is, you may want to make a list of things that you have faith in.  For example, your list may include statements like, "I trust the sun will rise in the East."  "I know that the stars are always shining even if I can't see them."  "I believe my heart will continue beating as long as it is able--even without my conscious awareness."  Reflecting on these beliefs can help you start on the path to finding faith in a Higher Power.

Another way to find your Higher Power is to talk to others about their own beliefs.  You may discover things that you believe, and you may discover things that don't sit right with you.  Bit by bit, you will be able to develop faith and grow a relationship with your Higher Power.

Be creative and make up a Higher Power based on all the qualities and characteristics you hope your Higher Power would have.  What things would you like to find? Wisdom, respect, ever-present, love, goodness... .  ?

If you're unsure whether you truly believe in a certain Higher Power, try acting as if this Higher Power exists.  Pay attention to your actions, thoughts, and feelings.  Are you living in a better way?  Is this belief helpful?  Does it feel right?  If so, you may want to continue living with this belief for a little longer.

Everyone's journey to find a Higher Power is different, just as everyone's relationship with their Higher Power is different. (This is not a discussion about religion, it's a discussion about exploring spirituality. Please be mindful.)

Who/what is your Higher Power? 

How did you go about finding your Higher Power?

How has your spirituality helped you in your personal growth?

[Somewhere]

Early on into Alanon -- Santa Claus God.

Yunno.  Knows if you have been naughty or nice, and if I had been a good boy and prayed for what I wanted I generally got it.

But in Alanon -- there is what I call Step 11 God.  And that is more grown up view of things.  You are suppose to seek God's Will and God's Way -- not your own.  But how could he know what He was supposed to do for ME if I did not tell Him? 

Then comes the grown-up part . . . listening instead of Me Telling Him.  Really strange, wild and wonderful things started after that.

[Surnia]

Who/what is your Higher Power?

Mother earth - nature

How did you go about finding your Higher Power?

To be outside - water - stones - watching - listening - touching

How has your spirituality helped you in your personal growth?

Recognizing life cycles - its not about a linear process like many religions, ist about life and death in cycles or spirales

[GlennT]

Who/What is your higher power?

First, God is not my higher power. God is powerfully independent of me and my will, and I humbly bow before the Almighty, as I go to God, seek, God, and talk to God as my all-knowing and comforting Parent. God is very close to me, created me, but God is not me. God loves me and wants the best for me, and it gives God pleasure when I stay close to God, but God is not me. I know it's popular today to say we are Gods, and even Jesus said this, but God is so Great to me, that I cannot say I am God.

How did you go about finding your higher power?

Instinctively, I knew God was with me here. First, through Nature, Church, reading about saints in books, visiting people I thought who knew God better than I, and lastly, I searched for God all through my many mistakes in my life I made, and fears I had.

How has your spirituallity helped you in your personal growth?

As I persevered through the many storms in my life, I was finially rewarded with a direct experience I shall never forget, and given a promise that God has kept. I know God is real, and will never doubt again, and for this, I am eternally grateful. Although I still have many storms to face, I always go to my Parent-God, and know God is with me, and will help me no matter what happens.    

[Mountaineagle]

Who/what is your Higher Power? 

It started off as God when I was a child. In my teens I discovered Tao. I recognized this as a more direct experience, more "hands on". And through studying Jung and archetypes I got introduced to "the collective unconscious" and synchronicity. That was when mind blowing things happened. Learned a lot from Joseph Campbell as well. Came to the understanding that all the spiritual paths have the same goal and dangers. Some paths are broader and more used than others. Last year I came back to God, humbled and a little wiser.

Spiritual messages are basically unexplainable in terms of words. They work on many dimensions. The metaphors used are the gateways for understanding. But it is through experience that you get to know. The spiritual communicates to you through the known things in the world, things we have a conception of. Like images and physical things. Don't take it litterally, read between the lines, understand with spirit, and not just with your head.  A lesson I learned was that an externally trivial event may have deep meaning for you, trust this, don't listen to other people belittling your experience. If you feel deep meaning in it, it is a message from above.     

How did you go about finding your Higher Power?

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7

It started with a question: "I need to experience more so I have something to tell people and be more interesting" I was 16 or 17 then, awkward and insecure  It got answered within days. But when it happened, there was no way to tell other people about it! 

I actually have a personal method for "asking". We all have an energy body. Echardt Tolle refers to this in his book "A new earth". When you "ask" connect to your energy body and "radiate" your "request". It does not matter if you don't have a clear question, sometimes your spirit, unconscious will "ask" for you. If you haven't had an experience with your energy body, know that your are in for a treat, and that you have a huge untapped resource just waiting for you

How has your spirituality helped you in your personal growth?

I have gotten love, guidence, comfort, warnings and a lot of experiences that have shaped me. I have been beaten down and picked up again. Learnig that it was me myself who did the beating It is all about how we take it, and we have the power to change that. A very very wise neighbour said: ":)on't think too much, living is easy after all" I belive that the message is that when over complicating and try to control things you can't control you are stepping outside the path into the bushes fighting your way trough. Eventually you will get there but there are ways to go around the bushes    

[Maryiscontrary]

Well if you think about it rationally, of course there is a higher power. You have these patterns of nature, like conservation of energy, for which you are subservient. By default the forces that define conservation of energy are our bosses. I have no comment or ideas if this force is just mechanical chains of event, or has conscious will. I have no idea. But Khama is real, in so many words.

[seeking balance]

Going deep into the personal inventory topic Suzn 

Very "Oprahesque" - she does a similar version on Super Soul Sunday - love it!

Who/what is your Higher Power? 

God/Spirit/Energy/Love

I see this all as one and in the very basic terms... .  the innermost of matter/existence.

How did you go about finding your Higher Power?

walk on the beach, laughing children, gardening, church, phone call from a dear friend, breathing/meditation... .  anything that emotionally touches me

How has your spirituality helped you in your personal growth?

Yes... .  specifically, with hope, humility and forgiveness

[Phoenix.Rising]

Who is my Higher Power?

God/Great Spirit

He/She is my ally, friend, and creator of all that is.

How did I go about finding God?

Through living life... . questioning, listening, reading, seeking, in nature, 12-Step work, churches, prayer and meditation, keeping an open mind... . and forgiveness.

How has my spirituality helped me in my personal growth?

Spirituality is the foundation of everything.  It is the core component.  It is the glue that holds it all together.  It pushes me forward. 

[turtle]

Then comes the grown-up part . . . listening instead of Me Telling Him.  Really strange, wild and wonderful things started after that.

Love this!

God/spirituality... .  my definition changes as I evolve, but to me, God represents:

Peace

Favor

Provision

Guidance

Compassion

Forgiveness

Understanding

Wisdom

Those are just a few.

I'm a preacher's kid, so "God" was part of my world (whether I liked it or not) at a very young age.  I was born on a Wednesday and in church every Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, Thursday night, and many other times, until I left home.  The God that I knew then was very different than the God I know now... .  and thank God for that!  .  The God I knew then was very punitive. A task master of unacheivable tasks.  The God I know now is FOR me, not against me.

turtle

[Want2know]

I've been thinking about how to respond to this thread for a few days now.  The questions posed are truly meaningful and the answers can anchor us and assist with our healing and growth.

I came home from work today to find a package that my friend had sent me with some of the things from my house that I had left behind when I moved in February.  In the box was a journal that I had written while I traveled over the course of a year - October 2000 to just after 9/11 occurred in 2001.  I was in my 5th year of what turned out to be a 12 year marriage.  At the end of my ramblings about my travels to Italy, Amsterdam and Spain, I had written this:

"Believe in miracles.

Accept that you have no control.

Fate is unavoidable.

No worry, no more worries.  Trust fate."

I have somewhat recently moved from a more nature/science/aesthetic based spirituality to contemplating God's words written through the bible.  What I realized in reading my words from 2001 is that they still stand true with me.  Regardless if they are channeled through nature, science, music or God.  I believe everything that happens is meant to be, and we should not let it trouble us as much as it does sometimes.  I believe in fate and have faith in it. 

[Kunoichi]

Who/what is your Higher Power? 

How did you go about finding your Higher Power?

How has your spirituality helped you in your personal growth?

1. God is my higher power.

2. God has been a part of my life since I was born but I have turned away from him many times. He would tug and tug on my heart trying to get me to see that the path I was on was all wrong for me and I would tug just as hard in the opposite direction. I never felt I could trust God to lead me in the right direction because he had already put me in an abusive family. I had a father who sexually assaulted me until I was 13 years old, a mother who did not believe me and was physically and emotionally abusive and a whole family who labeled me as an attention seeking, trouble making problem child. It finally came down to the point that I had no one to turn to with my troubles and so I sought him out. God would reach out to me and I would pull away but little by little I read, prayed and asked questions and learned to trust him.

3. God holds me accountable for my thoughts and actions. No one else is responsible for me and no one else can force me to think, feel or do something I know is against Gods will. I have to make a choice every day to choose the path that leads to him or the path that leads me away.

[musicfan42]

Q. Who/what is your Higher Power?

A. God is my Higher Power. I don't consider God to be a really judgmental or harsh entity but rather compassionate and loving, capable of unconditional love. I think that God forgives me when I make mistakes

Q. How did you go about finding your Higher Power?

It took me a while for it all to really click into place but I got there in the end

Q. How has your spirituality helped you in your personal growth?

A. I feel a lot calmer now and I credit that solely down to spirituality. It's changed me in many other ways too but there's a part of me that wants to preserve that relationship and not reveal too much because it's a private, personal thing for me. I've gotten to the stage where if I care about someone or something, I don't want to spill the beans... . I want to protect it and guard it with my life.

[Suzn]

Q. Who/what is your Higher Power?

My higher power is universal energy, which I believe is God's energy. It is also my belief this energy is tangible. I have felt it, even simply in a room full of people who are happy this energy flows.

Q. How did you go about finding your Higher Power?

I started asking God, out loud. I believe that this universal energy put people in my path that helped me find the answers to my questions. Some of these people were random chance meetings and others are people in my life now, either way, I am truly grateful to them and all have a place in my heart. Along with a lot of other searching on the subject there were two books I read that changed my old beliefs and fears. One was "The Shack" by William P. Young and the second was ":)ead men's Secrets" by Jonathan Grey. Though I do not believe everything I read these played a significant role in giving me different perspectives on my prior beliefs. I very much needed a different perspective, this topic had always been a difficult one for me being raised in a religion where I had deep seated fears of the wrath God.

Q. How has your spirituality helped you in your personal growth?

I am never alone, this energy is with me and I am open to receive it. This has played a role in opening my heart to real gratitude and compassion. I see that compassion in other people in this big world, and in my very small one, so I can only imagine the depth of compassion in God. I believe this life and everything in my surroundings are a gift. I remind myself of this often now and I take the time to take notice of as much of it as I can. I feel very fortunate to be living in a time where I can travel the world and learn new things from my living room via the internet. That part is important to me because it shows me the immensity of this world, the people in it and the universe. I am also more appreciative and content the things and the experiences I have in my real life in real time. I have found a calm, a peace and a way to shed a lot of my old fears through my growing spirituality.

I'm not always perfect in these pursuits however imperfection is a gift as well, now, it helps me laugh at myself when I need to not take my own imperfection and my mistakes so seriously. I do not know it all and I never will however my curiosity in learning and experiencing as much as I can being opened up is something I've noticed a lot during my search. There were things that were "taboo" that I never considered prior because of my upbringing, now, I have my permission. It's ok to ask, contemplate and make my own decisions on what agrees with my soul. 

[KellyO]

Who/what is your Higher Power?

Tao. Universe. We are fragments of Tao.

How did you go about finding your Higher Power?

I became Michael-student. Before that I red channelings from entity called Emmanuel. It had a great impact on me.

How has your spirituality helped you in your personal growth?

It is my life-purpose. I am a Warrior in Growth with Spiritual attitude... . so yes, my soul really made sure in this life I will learn this stuff. I was born to learn how everything is connected. My lessons are hard, and my Ego still has a swift hold on me. I work every day to make it smaller. Only thing I can say for sure is that I know nothing, and often I get frustrated about not knowing. About other people... . Michael has helped me greatly to understand and respect other people for what they are, and how and why they are different from me. I understand that other people are here learning their lessons too,and I don't know what their lessons are. I have no idea what path they follow because they have to follow it. We are every single one of us fragments of Tao, and we are worthy.

[WalrusGumboot]

Who/what is your Higher Power?

This assumes that I am a power in a spiritual sense. I have no power besides what God gives me. I don't reference God as a Higher Power because He is the energy in everything. He IS power. Yahweh.

How did you go about finding your Higher Power?

I was seeking truth and got down on my knees and prayed for it. I didn't even know what I was praying to at that time. I read all kinds of spiritual books but nothing hit home. I felt like a ship without a rudder. Over the course of the next several years, life events put me in a place where the Good News was presented to me on a personal level, and at that moment I knew that was what I was searching so long for.

How has your spirituality helped you in your personal growth?

Strength, patience, love, forgiveness, wisdom, self-control. It wasn't always a steady growth, and of course it had plenty of set-backs being with a pwBPD, but there is no telling how my dealings with her would have been different without my spirituality. I am not sure how I would have coped.

[Phoenix.Rising]

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference."

Amen.

[Suzn]

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference."

Amen.

I ran across the original version of this prayer when I was reading "The Wisdom to Know the Difference" by Eileen Flanagan. I found it to be interesting history. I hope you don't mind if I share this excerpt with you.

While some suspect that the Serenity Prayer has ancient roots, most credit Reinhold Niebuhr, a Protestant theologian known for his concern for social justice. Whether the idea originated with him or not, Niebuhr delivered a sermon during World War II that included a prayer different from the later, more popular version in subtle but important ways:

God, give us grace

To accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed,

Courage to change the things that should be changed,

And the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

While the "wisdom to know the difference" is catchier, I appreciate Niebuhr's version, which implies that figuring out what we can and cannot change is a process, not a simple formula. It sounds more like discernment.

It's also significant that Niebuhr's version doesn't ask for courage to change what can be changed, but for courage to change what should be changed. If you think about that for a minute, you'll realize they are not necessarily the same. There are many things we know should be changed that we simply put up with because change seems so impossible. For Niebuhr, there were many forms of injustice clearly on that list. Although Niebuhr was not optimistic about human nature, his prayer first asks for God's grace, inviting us to imagine miracles. Furthermore, it was written in the plural: "God grant us." Obviously there are problems that people can tackle together that they could not solve alone. The individual wording more common on coffee mugs and tea towels is pithier than the original, but it relieves the prayer of it's bigger challenge, to seek wisdom to know the difference, not just in personal matters like birth and death, but in social issues, like poverty, injustice and war.

[Phoenix.Rising]

Suzn,  I'm glad you shared that information, and I have read a bit about Richard Niebur, but I was not aware of all that you shared and I have not read the book you mentioned.  Did you like the book?  I might put it on my 'to read' list. 

I also like using 'us' instead of 'me'.  That made me think about the wording in the 12-Steps of AA.  They use 'we' instead of 'I' and people will talk about the program as being a 'we' program.  Recovery is not something one does alone.

It's also interesting that he mentions the things that 'should be changed'.  I like your comment on that statement because there have been times with me as well when I didn't change some things that 'should' have been changed.  I admit I don't like using 'shoulds' after the fact, though.  Everything happens for a reason, I believe. 

[Suzn]

Suzn,  I'm glad you shared that information, and I have read a bit about Richard Niebur, but I was not aware of all that you shared and I have not read the book you mentioned.  Did you like the book?  I might put it on my 'to read' list. 

I'm glad you enjoyed it, I did too. I'm not finished with the book, however I would encourage you to read it. I would encourage you to read as many books as you can get your hands on in general. I found that books offer many different perspectives, even if only fiction. I am a Bibliophile, always have been though I didn't read for years. I've gotten back to this passion in the last 2 years and I feel somewhat like a college student, catching up at 48, with all the different theories and philosophies. I hadn't heard of Richard Niebuhr prior to this book. It's interesting how true the quote "the more you learn, the more you find you don't know."

I also like using 'us' instead of 'me'.  That made me think about the wording in the 12-Steps of AA.  They use 'we' instead of 'I' and people will talk about the program as being a 'we' program.  Recovery is not something one does alone.

I agree recovery works best with support. There are parts of recovery that must be done alone, parts that no one can do for us. However, I truly believe a sense of belonging comes into play, and is important in recovery, with the addition of an organisation such as AA, these boards, a church affiliation, etc... . Something bigger than we are, whatever that may be, that we feel a part of and a connection to.

[maxen]

Who/what is your Higher Power?

the God of abraham

How did you go about finding your Higher Power?

never was lost, that i needed to find. i approach God through the eremitic practices of the RCC.

How has your spirituality helped you in your personal growth?

actually, i'd say my personal growth has helped in my spirituality. in T after what happened 4 months ago (my story in the L1 section) it was pointed out to me that i had allowed myself to be treated abusively. but the great commandment tells that we should love our neighbors as we love ourselves - that a healthy self-love is the basis for a healthy love of others. i'd never really been able to embrace that before, that love of self is actually godly. this is a work in progress

[Rose Tiger]

When my kiddo was barely five, she told me she talks to God all the time.  She said He helps her to get up if she got pushed down at daycare.  She said He is everywhere always working.  I asked her why did God make flies and she said because He likes them  and you shouldn't ask questions like that.   I asked a coworker, my kidlet talks to God is she nutz?  And the coworker said, nope, little kids are naturally close to God but it gets drummed out of them as they get older, she said I should keep that little flame growing.  So I started going to Calvary Chapel, she in sunday school, me in the main sanctuary.  I thought they would throw me out because I didn't belong the first time I went.  Actually it was the opposite and I felt very welcome.  The Pastor said we are starting with Genesis page 1 today.  I thought oh good, I'm starting at a good point.  

That was 2004 and I've studied most books of the bible in depth.  What I found was absolute truth not the wambly way the world changes every two seconds on an issue.  I found out that we all have great value to God.  As faith grows, you lose being anxious about everything, you know the One that loves you is in charge.  He will work good into the lives of those that love Him.  He can turn evil into good.  He will direct your path.  Feeling so safe and secure in that, you can focus on other things rather than the worry of the day.  Freeing way to live.    

[fromheeltoheal]

I find names and descriptions applied by humans distracting, and life force fits best for me.  If I'm quiet and still, I can easily sense the life force that permeates everything, and when I'm connected to it, the 'right' thing to do in any situation is obvious and readily available to me, I just need to be still and listen.  And when I do what is 'Right' and what is 'True', in caps, the life force supports me, I can feel it.  And when I follow my own free will while disconnected from that force, on yet another ego-driven adventure, I'm on my own baby.  Simple.  So slow down, breathe, stay connected, it will all work out.  Needless to say I was disconnected the entire time with my borderline, more references to support the idea that I shouldn't do that.

[heartandwhole]

Great subject, Susan!

Who/what is your Higher Power? 

I feel intimately connected with God, the Universe, Life.  My higher power resides in me, around me... .it actually IS me.  My truest essence, if you will.

How did you go about finding your Higher Power?

I have always been interested in spirituality.  I grew up Catholic and apparently asked so many questions in religion class that the teacher had to stop calling on me.    I searched for many years, then suddenly the search stopped and I was here.

How has your spirituality helped you in your personal growth?

I think Life, Being, grows me.  I don't have to seek out personal growth anymore, it seems to find me now!

[babyducks]

What does having a higher power mean, why is it helpful?

Who/what is your Higher Power? 

How did you go about finding your Higher Power?

How has your spirituality helped you in your personal growth?

Suzn,

I count myself among the very fortunate, as I was born into a family and a people with a very strong and a very long faith tradition.  So I never really had to go about finding a Higher Power.   My Higher Power, who I choose to call G-d was there for me from the get go.

For me, to paraphrase an old quote;  my religion is not a matter of obeying rules or fearing G-d.  My religion is a matter of changing the world by investing ordinary moments with holiness and making my life, our lives matter in the process.  It is a special way of living and looking at life.

To be committed to a faith tradition, (which ever one works for you,)  means to be committed to the experience of great ideas, "to hear and to act."  That works for me as I can always be a student of life and how to live with intention.

I believe in my G-d because my faith requires of me no abdication of the mind and all the devotion of my heart.  And because at every time of despair I can find hope.

babyducks

[Phoenix.Rising]

I asked her why did God make flies and she said because He likes them  and you shouldn't ask questions like that.       

Lol.  That's awesome... thanks for sharing.