Supervised visitation issue - are phone calls/FB msg'ing/etc. allowed?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Looking for opinions from the collective wisdom here.

My SO has 4 kids.  Their bio-dad is on supervised visitation orders.  It's a temp. order and states that their bio-dad is to only see them if supervised, but allows for that supervisor to be a member of his family.  His sister lives close by and has been the supervisor on the very rare occasions he has asked to see them in the last few years.  A one year no contact order also just expired.  The no contact order had been put in place after she filed against him for stalking, threatening messages, etc.  He'd also contact me via phone and threatened me.  It was weird but he admitted it all in court, and tried to bu!$h!t the judge into thinking it was okay for him to do it.  Just my opinion, but I think he's definitely disordered, ASPD describes what I've seen since I've known SO and her kids most accurately in my layman's observations.  There's a trail of court records across multiple states related to all manner of DV incidents as well that I found when I decided I needed to inform myself about a few things (basically I wanted to know what I was getting into with SO).

Anyway, SO's 2 oldest kids have Facebook pages and their own cell numbers now.  I got on the laptop last night after the kids were in bed and discovered her S14 had left his Facebook page logged in.  Right there front and center was a picture of his dad with a new fiance.  S14 only had 2 friends on the list, a kid from school, and his dad.  The account was created back in August, and it looked like about the only thing on it was some messaging back and forth with his dad.  Very minimal, but they had exchanged cell numbers.

SO found the same sort of thing with her oldest daughter had happened a few months ago (D15).  

In their messaging, there's the usual sort of BS from him about trying to contact them, not knowing how, etc.  He knew how all along.  He's choosing not to because he doesn't want to comply with supervised visits.  He also mentioned to both of them that he could get them separate cell phones that they could keep secret so they could stay in contact.

The temp. orders just say his visitation shall be supervised and gives an EOW schedule, and details of exchanges.  It is geared towards physical visits.  It is silent as to remote contact via phone, internet messaging, etc.

So the question after all that is this:  Is it a violation of the temp. orders of supervised visitation if he is secretly contacting the kids remotely?  In this case, both kids reached out to their dad to initiate contact.  All 4 of them miss their dad, and they're asking when they get to see him next.  I stay out of it unless specifically someone says "Hey Waddams... .".  

SO is taking this as a violation of the orders and believes he's not supposed to have any unsupervised contact with them at all at this point.  I believe she's right that all contact should be supervised, whether in person or remote, but I'm not certain I agree the court papers currently reflect that.  She doesn't want to consult her L on this either.  For my part, when she has asked my opinion I've given it and advised she should get clarification from her L.

However, I'm wondering if anyone here has experienced this sort of thing and could share how things went in their case, or could otherwise share an opinion.

Edited - fixing grammar errors.

[Waddams]

Looking for opinions from the collective wisdom here.

My SO has 4 kids.  Their bio-dad is on supervised visitation orders.  It's a temp. order and states that their bio-dad is to only see them if supervised, but allows for that supervisor to be a member of his family.  His sister lives close by and has been the supervisor on the very rare occasions he has asked to see them in the last few years.  A one year no contact order also just expired.  The no contact order had been put in place after she filed against him for stalking, threatening messages, etc.  He'd also contact me via phone and threatened me.  It was weird but he admitted it all in court, and tried to bu!$h!t the judge into thinking it was okay for him to do it.  Just my opinion, but I think he's definitely disordered, ASPD describes what I've seen since I've known SO and her kids most accurately in my layman's observations.  There's a trail of court records across multiple states related to all manner of DV incidents as well that I found when I decided I needed to inform myself about a few things (basically I wanted to know what I was getting into with SO).

Anyway, SO's 2 oldest kids have Facebook pages and their own cell numbers now.  I got on the laptop last night after the kids were in bed and discovered her S14 had left his Facebook page logged in.  Right there front and center was a picture of his dad with a new fiance.  S14 only had 2 friends on the list, a kid from school, and his dad.  The account was created back in August, and it looked like about the only thing on it was some messaging back and forth with his dad.  Very minimal, but they had exchanged cell numbers.

SO found the same sort of thing with her oldest daughter had happened a few months ago (D15).  

In their messaging, there's the usual sort of BS from him about trying to contact them, not knowing how, etc.  He knew how all along.  He's choosing not to because he doesn't want to comply with supervised visits.  He also mentioned to both of them that he could get them separate cell phones that they could keep secret so they could stay in contact.

The temp. orders just say his visitation shall be supervised and gives an EOW schedule, and details of exchanges.  It is geared towards physical visits.  It is silent as to remote contact via phone, internet messaging, etc.

So the question after all that is this:  Is it a violation of the temp. orders of supervised visitation if he is secretly contacting the kids remotely?  In this case, both kids reached out to their dad to initiate contact.  All 4 of them miss their dad, and they're asking when they get to see him next.  I stay out of it unless specifically someone says "Hey Waddams... .".  

SO is taking this as a violation of the orders and believes he's not supposed to have any unsupervised contact with them at all at this point.  I believe she's right that all contact should be supervised, whether in person or remote, but I'm not certain I agree the court papers currently reflect that.  She doesn't want to consult her L on this either.  For my part, when she has asked my opinion I've given it and advised she should get clarification from her L.

However, I'm wondering if anyone here has experienced this sort of thing and could share how things went in their case, or could otherwise share an opinion.

Edited - fixing grammar errors.

[marbleloser]

"In this case, both kids reached out to their dad to initiate contact.  All 4 of them miss their dad, and they're asking when they get to see him next. "

This is what hits me most. Why would you want to cut off contact from the dad if the kids actually want to communicate with him? What difference does supervised visitation mean regarding this? Why is the dad restricted to supervised visitation?

In this case,the kids are older (14 and 15),so they have a bit of a grasp on things,unlike younger children. I wouldn't push this if there's no reason they shouldn't be able to communicate with him,even with supervised visitation,unless you think there's a flight risk.

Just keep monitoring the messages and documenting anything that may have a negative impact on the children.

[Waddams]

Yeah I'm having the same thoughts on one hand.  

On the other hand though, I do believe the guy is dangerous.  He's on supervised visits because he was emotionally and physically abusing the kids.  Lots of alienation tactics and hard core physical abuse to the tune of beatings with metal rods, duct taping them up and leaving them in a dark closet, etc.  It was pretty bad, and it's all documented in the court papers, and by DFACS.  Their mom took him to court and got it ordered to stop him from abusing the kids any more.  The orders layout certain things he's supposed to do now regarding visitation, counseling, etc.  He hasn't done any of it.

Edited top add:  Even the brief communication I've seen is full of lies, twisted facts, and false promises.  He wants to pick them and take them to various places, etc.  If he wanted to, he'd arrange the visit and do it.  And on one of the rare visits, an hour after the exchange, SO had her D15 calling her and saying the supervisor had left, her dad was trying to get the kids to sign statements that they had lied about the abuse, etc.  All kinds of drama.  She called the cops and the cops made the supervisor come back.

And the kids have come back in bad emotional/dysregulated states themselves from each visit.  When asked, they'd talk his behavior and it was right out of the PA handbook. 

There was one time, maybe a year and a half ago, SO's S14 got physically violent with his sisters over access to TV/video games.  They were watching something, he wanted to play a game, and got violent and abusive towards them when they wouldn't let him on in the middle of their show.  I got a call from the oldest daughter asking for help because they couldn't get in contact with their mom.  When I got there, I got control of the situation, calmed it all down, and the oldest daughter sobbed on my shoulder about how S14 was acting just like how their dad used to treat their mom.  The girls all had some bruises on them from him.  Was definitely a rough day.  All 4 kids have scars from what this guy used to do, and when they get triggered, they feel a lot of pain.  The things they've opened up to me about have sounded rather terrible, and I've never once asked them anything.  They just do it sometimes, usually when there's a trigger and they need some comforting.

As for when the kids will get to see him again, all he's got to do at this point is send a message that he wants to exercise his visitation on such and such date, and that the supervisor will be such and such person.  That's how it's ordered in the temp. orders.  The only time he's asked to see them since I've known SO is when his extended family has asked to see the kids 3 or 4 times.  This is over a period of 2 years.  There has been no other attempts to exercise visitation.

She also can only get him to pay child support by filing criminal abandonment charges.  He shows up with enough in certified checks to stay out of jail and hands it over in the court room.  She hasn't been able to afford to pay her L to file civil contempt charges up to now, so she's been filing the criminal charges on her own.

It's an extreme case.  On one hand, her kids love and miss their dad.  On the other hand, their dad behaves like an extreme wack-job.  I feel for the kids most of all, but part of me also thinks the pain of missing him is not as bad as the pain of getting hit by him using that metal rod again, or the pain of experiencing his dysfunction first hand again.  There are literally dozens of DV cases I found in online court record searches.  He's also had his home and other assets seized in court cases because he got sued for copyright infringement by an ex-business partner. 

I think I'm talking myself into coming down on the side of the kids contact with him needs supervision in all forms after writing it all out like that.  I'll continue to tell SO she needs to consult her L, though.

[marbleloser]

OK,that's different! Keep up with all of the communication. I'm not sure if that would be contempt of the supervised visitation,but the kids are probably suffering a bit of stockholm syndrome. That would explain the want to stay in contact with him. Abusers are well versed in keeping their victims on a leash.

If he's dangerous,I'd pull the plug on any communication except physical supervised.

[Free One]

Unless he's secretly making plans to meet up with them unsupervised, I don't see how it would violate the temp orders, since there is nothing in regards to communication.

However, it may be useful to document and use in court next time orders come up.

[Waddams]

Free One - yeah I see that too.  She really needs to consult her L about it.  But it's not my case, so I'm a bit weary of stepping in too deeply.  Having to fight my own rescuer/solve it all urge though.  I keep my mouth shut unless asked for an opinion, and I definitely don't want to try to tell her what to do lest it turns into me directing things.  She has a habit of sometimes acquising to pressure, and a lot of times it's perceived on her part, and not real, but she might do something because she thinks I expect it, and not because she wants to.  We have that crop up sometimes in lots of areas, so I try very hard to stay out of "director" mode and keep strong boundaries in that regard.

The other issue is SO is kind of triggery about him too.  Instant clenched sphincter muscles when she has to deal with someone involving him.  She can't really deal with anything regarding him rationally when it first comes up.  She always need some time for the initial "Ahh!" to wear off.  It's almost like an adrenaline rush, similar to when you almost hit that car that pulled out in front of you and scared you to pieces, or that deer that jumped out in front of your car.