HELP im in Utter anxiety over BPD moms antics

[sweetypooh]

I have been NC with my BPD abusive mom for close to 5 years now. My youngest daughter 16 went to go live with her father 9 months ago ( she has always lived with me till then)... . I have kept my children away from my mom for the 4 years of NC as well. I asked her dad to not let her go to my mothers under any circumstances that once she turned 18 she could do as she pleased as far as that. He promised that he woukd not!... . well i just found out she is there at my mothers for a week! i went ballistic!... . my mother has been trying to get her to go to her house since my daughter has been out of my care for 9 months. I know that there is an AGENDA, there always was and is. She couldnt stand me or my children when we were in her life and made it known by words and actions. Now she has my daughter for a week i found out through my son (24) my mom had my daughter call him and as soon as he answered his phone my daughter put my mom on, and she proceeded to tell him  "oh your sisters here with me for a week"... . and made a minute of small talk and then hung up. My other 4 adult children have also been NC with her for the same amount of time as i have. I know she called my son just to let him know cause she NEW it would get back to me!... Funny' she didnt try to reach any of my other children (she knows they cant stand her, and they would not listen and let her spew her crazy crap)... . I hate her! she only has my daughter to get info and to pic her brain,... . I am soo pissed and besides myself!

[Botswana Agate]

Don't you, as her mother, have legal say where she is/goes since she's still underage?  Can't you demand she come home or be escorted home by law enforcement or something?

[sweetypooh]

Yes i thought i did< it was agreed upon between me and her dad that she could not go there. I called him immediately after finding out and he basically told me " thats her grandma and I said she could go"

my daughter moved 6 hours away from me with her dad, and my mom lives 5 hours away.

I have wanted to get my daughter back a few months ago but she doesnt want to come back and i know if i go get her and dragg her back she will run away again,... .