Fraud, coercion, duress or deception?

[oblivian2013]

I can get out of this, i.e. losing my house, etc., if my lawyer can prove fraud, coercion, duress or deception.

My lawyer talked to my therapist who said that pwBPDs can't think far enough ahead to qualify for any of the above.

But, he also said last week that he thinks she is comorbid. After studying this online, it seems very likely she is also a psychopath, as well.

What's the difference? Can psychopaths plan ahead?

There were red flags all over the place that she was planning on splitting, like taking an inventory of household goods well before she left,

dropping me messages on how she never received alimony from her first marriage, and a litany of other things I didn't recognise until now.

She played me like a fiddle. My lawyer called her a predator.

It was all manipulation.

Maybe my T is wrong about BPD forethought?

Anybody have any insight?

Thanks!

[maxen]

my stbxBPDw engaged in a calculated program of deceit lasting weeks or months. it was well planned.

your T is wrong about the forethought.

[Matt]

I think you need to understand the legal definition of these terms, as it would be understood and applied by the court.

Not the psychological definitions, which may be what your T is thinking about.

For example, if there is evidence that your ex did something which qualifies as "fraud", it would be up to her attorney to argue, "My client can't think far enough in advance to carry out fraud."  She might have to have her client diagnosed, and then show that her diagnosis rules out what she is accused of.

Also, keep in mind that divorces are civil matters, not criminal.  Criminal courts base decisions on "proof beyond reasonable doubt".  Civil courts use a different standard - "a predominance of the evidence".  So you won't need to prove that fraud was committed, beyond any doubt, you'll only have to show that most of the evidence shows fraud (or coercion, or duress, or  deception).

It seems to me that "deception" is probably the low-hanging fruit here.  Most of us experienced deception during the divorce process, and maybe before.  You would need evidence to show that it was deliberate - not a misunderstanding - and that it made a difference - it harmed you in some way.

(By the way, I'm not an attorney, and nobody here can give you legal advice.)

[Deep Impact]

I can get out of this, i.e. losing my house, etc., if my lawyer can prove fraud, coercion, duress or deception.

My lawyer talked to my therapist who said that pwBPDs can't think far enough ahead to qualify for any of the above.

But, he also said last week that he thinks she is comorbid. After studying this online, it seems very likely she is also a psychopath, as well.

What's the difference? Can psychopaths plan ahead?

There were red flags all over the place that she was planning on splitting, like taking an inventory of household goods well before she left,

dropping me messages on how she never received alimony from her first marriage, and a litany of other things I didn't recognise until now.

She played me like a fiddle. My lawyer called her a predator.

It was all manipulation.

Maybe my T is wrong about BPD forethought?

Anybody have any insight?

Thanks!

The label is only useful for your planning forward - in order to protect yourself.

From my experience, ASPD women get along with X's well - whereas BPD's don't.

The fact that she never receive alimony off her X, that alone would make me think she mightn't be BPD.

Just concentrate on the evidence though, regardless of her traits, she'd of slipped up somewhere.

[oblivian2013]

Possibly deception as she failed to reveal the nature of her illness?

She said she "has a mental illness, but nobody knows what it is."

She has been in therapy for years, surely she had an idea? She's 48.

Last summer, her clinician told me she has a personality disorder, which one had not been identified as of yet.

My wife claims she just has PTSD.

My T says I have PTSD, but I am not vindictive like her.

I think she hid the fact because she didn't want me to understand the exact nature of her illness.

We were only together 3 years.

I was just her next target.

What a quandry.