Get real

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I'm procrastinating some much needed work as it's been slow lately and my head is on the usual subject so I hope you don't mine if I let the snakes out.

It occurred to me today to grab my balls and get real with this. Knowing what I knew, and I knew all I need to know within the first two weeks, literally, the notion of loving this woman, let alone trying to build a life with her is insane! I slept with her in the first night, she was snorting adderall and piss drunk. She told me about her criminal history, how mental illness runs deep in her family and her childhood, which is where the root of this lies. Reform school for a year at age 12 for truancy? Who experiences that? For the longest time I never saw her not drinking. And the evil torment... etc, etc, etc... .

So you must wonder, what's up with me? Well I'll tell you. I was just months out of a four year relationship that I was grieving still. I was lonely but looking back life was good. She pounced on this. She pursued me hard. She would have to cal about business and in doing so I jokingly said 'I'm a lonely bachelor"... After that her calls became more frequent and personal until she insisted I come hang out with her one night spur of the moment.

She had dated some friends of mine that I have respect for but it was over a decade ago... far too long for them to remember enough to warn me. Plus I don't think she was as bad then... I really can't put my finger on that one because they don't hate her even though one that she works with know she's crazy, he just isn't one to start drama about it by getting in my ear... She was like 19 and 20 then and 32 when she and I hooked up so maybe the memory has faded.

I'm rambling but my point here is that she will never get better. I've read volumes on this subject and there is no way in hell that she will be anything other than a train wreck. Yes, I was duped big time. I was a complete fool and have cost myself and my family enormous stress and money over her crazy ass. That;s the shame of it all. My family was innocent and don't deserve this. It has affected them greatly and they are getting old. Basically trying to bail me out of the devastation I found myself in the aftermath of this very sick woman.

She is a loser. A very sick loser and she will never be anything but that. In fact it will get worse. Way worse I'm calling.

I get hung up on her moving on so fast. Not so much that I'm jealous but that I don't want to see her be able to dupe the next one so easily. People tell me I needn't worry that no one will be a gullible as I was. Maybe they are right. I didn't have to wait in line for her and her phone wasn't ringing off the hook when I met her but you can't tell with these women. Who knows what could have went down in the weeks prior to us. I guess it doesn't matter. There is just this strong desire to see her get what she deserves. I got a look last week when she broke NC and it was bad. As bad as I've seen from anyone. I think that was God because up until then I was really struggling.

Gratitude. What happened to gratitude... . It use to pull me through... I abandoned it... I abandoned a lot that I believed in chasing this relationship. I have to take responsibility for that. I was not true to myself. I sunk to her level and lived life like she did. That's why I'm here ultimately. I was better than this. I trusted, was betrayed and sh!t on at every turn but I allowed it. that one stings pretty bad too.

I appreciate you all. my new friends... I wish we were all in the same place and could meet regularly... I'd like to give you all a hug. I read my story from you every day... You have helped this poor, pathetic fool... But I'll be back and if my experience can help someone or prevent what I have gone through then we are all better for it.

Thanks again. I have to get to work now. Peace.

[buddy1226]

I'm procrastinating some much needed work as it's been slow lately and my head is on the usual subject so I hope you don't mine if I let the snakes out.

It occurred to me today to grab my balls and get real with this. Knowing what I knew, and I knew all I need to know within the first two weeks, literally, the notion of loving this woman, let alone trying to build a life with her is insane! I slept with her in the first night, she was snorting adderall and piss drunk. She told me about her criminal history, how mental illness runs deep in her family and her childhood, which is where the root of this lies. Reform school for a year at age 12 for truancy? Who experiences that? For the longest time I never saw her not drinking. And the evil torment... etc, etc, etc... .

So you must wonder, what's up with me? Well I'll tell you. I was just months out of a four year relationship that I was grieving still. I was lonely but looking back life was good. She pounced on this. She pursued me hard. She would have to cal about business and in doing so I jokingly said 'I'm a lonely bachelor"... After that her calls became more frequent and personal until she insisted I come hang out with her one night spur of the moment.

She had dated some friends of mine that I have respect for but it was over a decade ago... far too long for them to remember enough to warn me. Plus I don't think she was as bad then... I really can't put my finger on that one because they don't hate her even though one that she works with know she's crazy, he just isn't one to start drama about it by getting in my ear... She was like 19 and 20 then and 32 when she and I hooked up so maybe the memory has faded.

I'm rambling but my point here is that she will never get better. I've read volumes on this subject and there is no way in hell that she will be anything other than a train wreck. Yes, I was duped big time. I was a complete fool and have cost myself and my family enormous stress and money over her crazy ass. That;s the shame of it all. My family was innocent and don't deserve this. It has affected them greatly and they are getting old. Basically trying to bail me out of the devastation I found myself in the aftermath of this very sick woman.

She is a loser. A very sick loser and she will never be anything but that. In fact it will get worse. Way worse I'm calling.

I get hung up on her moving on so fast. Not so much that I'm jealous but that I don't want to see her be able to dupe the next one so easily. People tell me I needn't worry that no one will be a gullible as I was. Maybe they are right. I didn't have to wait in line for her and her phone wasn't ringing off the hook when I met her but you can't tell with these women. Who knows what could have went down in the weeks prior to us. I guess it doesn't matter. There is just this strong desire to see her get what she deserves. I got a look last week when she broke NC and it was bad. As bad as I've seen from anyone. I think that was God because up until then I was really struggling.

Gratitude. What happened to gratitude... . It use to pull me through... I abandoned it... I abandoned a lot that I believed in chasing this relationship. I have to take responsibility for that. I was not true to myself. I sunk to her level and lived life like she did. That's why I'm here ultimately. I was better than this. I trusted, was betrayed and sh!t on at every turn but I allowed it. that one stings pretty bad too.

I appreciate you all. my new friends... I wish we were all in the same place and could meet regularly... I'd like to give you all a hug. I read my story from you every day... You have helped this poor, pathetic fool... But I'll be back and if my experience can help someone or prevent what I have gone through then we are all better for it.

Thanks again. I have to get to work now. Peace.

[casper324]

Buddy,  just run and don't look back, you can't save her.  Snorting Adderall?  Thats some pretty crazy stuff and nothing you should want to be around.  If you want to do something for her before you hit the road contact the prescribing physician out of concern and let them know how she is using the RX. 

They move on quick because they cant be alone but they will settle for anyone just to have someone.  On my stbex's  public profile, states he lives in another State. I wouldn't doubt he didn't get matched up with one of his Cousins cronnies who lives in that City, then again it must be pretty embarrassing to say you are living in Moms basement at 57 years old.