Well, I've had my doubts. But, I kept telling myself it was BPD and making excuses since he was "supposedly molested as a child" and all. When I got upset when he up and told me that he didn't see us being more than really, really good friends all of a sudden, it was like a switch flipped and he was some demonic person. After I rattled off about him always going for abusive women and blah, blah, he said I had gotten my revenge and to stop texting him... . when he was the one who text me? I kept on and he said, "Seriously? Okay. Goodbye." Then, I started getting ugly, saying that I couldn't believe I had missed the fact that he reminded me of my psychopathic ex and asked if he got off on hurting people - and he told me to seriously stop texting him, saying that my intentions were always selfish, wanting to turn him, convert him, and have him be with me, and that I thought I had him pinned all along, but most of the time I wasn't even describing him when I was trying to help him.
Even a week ago, I will still making excuses for the above. :'( It was so obvious that the mask was gone and the psychopath was there. Even though he was depressed, had rages, and was having panic attacks, he would deny that he didn't love himself. He said that he loved who he was.
What made me realize this was his sad, pathetic posts on the anonymous app we both share, even trying to get 17-year-old girls to be the girl to "save him from the edge". Then, the next thing I know, he's already posting about paying a girl to take his mind off another girl (his ex) and that anything they would do would help. He then has posted about already sleeping in another girl's bed, and now, he has supposedly found happiness? In one week? After posting about slitting his throat after he cut me out like it was nothing a week ago?
He couldn't come and sleep with me because of his "trust issues" and because he was afraid he couldn't control himself drunk, but he's already sleeping in another girl's bed? WOW. He even told me that it's hard to resist him when he starts kissing you... . almost like he was warning me. He's a predator! I'm SUCH AN IDIOT... .
What really made me think was what happened today. I'm still in shock. :'(
I'm just driving in our college town, when all of a sudden, this Mustang pulls up beside me in moving traffic. It caught my eye, as they were flying, and I almost had a heart-attack when I looked.
I'm still in shock and shaking. I can't believe it, nor am I sure, but I think I saw HIM. He was laughing, trying to see who was driving my car, and talking to his friend, as he must have recognized my personalized tag and asked him to pull beside me so he could look in, but my windows are tinted?
His friend then flew around me and got ahead in traffic. I eventually passed them, as they got stuck and he was seriously still frantically looking out the window as I passed and laughing.
What else could describe this behavior? It looked like him. He was taunting me. Making a joke out of me for buying his lies for four months.
Everything makes sense. His ploy to destroy people and get narcissistic supply is by asking for sympathy about his abusive relationship and acting like this meek guy who is too afraid to leave his apartment because he was hurt and abused as a child and in his relationship.
I should be frantically crying... . but I'm at a loss. I think I'm in shock. I remember being like this when I figured out what my ex was. When it finally dawned on me the crap I had been putting up with... . and all the signs I ignored.
Am I the crazy one? I'm beginning to think I am. Why did I believe he was good? Was I just fixated on the mask he wore in the beginning? Is that why I ignore the signs? Why do psychopaths always find me?
I'm literally at a loss... . I just had to cancel my university appointment because I couldn't even keep my thoughts together to leave... .
It all makes sense why their breakup bothers him... . she ditched him and won. It was a loss.
I can't believe I found another psychopath and they fooled me again.
I can't even... .
