I miss him so so much :(

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

We were supposed to hang out after he finished his project and talk about our 'relationship'. He submitted yesterday, I saw him briefly at uni (and thought all this time how beautiful he is and how much I want his arms around me  ), but he said he was too tired to go for coffee or anything, but he'll see me 'soon'. This is just so frustrating, and I still don't know where I stand - does he want me back? Does he not? I was very clear to him about not being able to be friends and it is either a full-blown relationship or nothing. His answer was that until he finishes his project he can't 'see anyone' (that's all he said), but now he is finished and what? What do I do?

[tabular]

We were supposed to hang out after he finished his project and talk about our 'relationship'. He submitted yesterday, I saw him briefly at uni (and thought all this time how beautiful he is and how much I want his arms around me  ), but he said he was too tired to go for coffee or anything, but he'll see me 'soon'. This is just so frustrating, and I still don't know where I stand - does he want me back? Does he not? I was very clear to him about not being able to be friends and it is either a full-blown relationship or nothing. His answer was that until he finishes his project he can't 'see anyone' (that's all he said), but now he is finished and what? What do I do?

[maxsterling]

Yeah, that state of "limbo" certainly stinks for all relationships, not just those with a pwBPD.  My advice:  try and get to a point where your life does not depend on what he decides.  Know that you will still go on without him.  I know that is emotionally tough, but in a relationship with a pwBPD, that's about the only way you can survive.  They will always have that unstable nature, always do things on a whim, always be unhappy with themselves.  Unless you can accept that and detach, you will get eaten alive. 

[tabular]

Thanks, Max. I gave him an ultimatum and his response was a clear and definite 'no'. Not going to 'rekindle a romantic relationship', wants to remain friends but understands if I don't want to. I am heartbroken, drunk and ready to give up on the opposite gender. So much time, effort and emotions put into someone who just decides he doesn't want to play with that toy (me) again cause he got bored of it. Even though he promised the world. Even though he knows that nobody is going to put up with his sh@t as much as I have and am willing to. This is a dark moment for me. And I have to get up early tomorrow and teach kids about social theory. Falling apart. Right now I just *hate* him, HATE HIM, for not telling me this weeks ago, when he ignored all my messages about not being able to be friends, hell, CALLED ME, to ask me for advise on his academic stuff. I feel so used, more used than I have ever felt in my life, and believe me people, I have been heart-broken before. But never before has someone ignored my emotions to this extent just to further his own agenda. DAMN HIM TO HELL.