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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: questioning my beliefs  (Read 343 times)
AllisG
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
Posts: 55



« on: February 14, 2014, 11:14:44 PM »

I feel like I'm questioning my beliefs, doubting myself.

When he accuses me of something I start to wonder, "maybe what I did or said is wrong?"  Even if I know with all my being I did nothing wrong I still get this nagging in my head that maybe he's right.

Or if I feel he's crossed boundaries (for example he has major boundary issues with Facebook, but that's another topic)

I feel like oh maybe it's not a big deal.

Idk if that makes sense. 
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Surnia
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
Posts: 3900



« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2014, 02:32:15 AM »

Makes perfect sense to me.

As long I was in my rs with my now exh, I went through similar things. Weak boundaries, not too much clarity about my values, downplaying it, too fast doubting myself. I realized that I have this not only with my h, I have similar situations with co-workers for example.

Another thought is: Is it really about right or wrong or is it more about "being different" or have different perceptions or opinions? Perhaps you can tell one of your real life examples?
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