Even claimed I had secret properties... ones she didn't know about.
... .
Now she claims I turned them over to her because i was tired of doing it.
... .
Thoughts?
She will say whatever she can get away with to express herself. So either you have a boundary and not discuss nonsensical claims or you need to validate. The first one is tempting to handle with sarcasm (may or may not backfire depending on her mood and sense of humor). So in increasing riskiness:
You are quite suspicious.
You are crediting me with more sneakiness that I deserve.
Tell me where it is so I can sell it.
Yeah, I'm a secret billionaire.
"Indeed, I'm making loads of money with my secret mind on the dark side of the moon. Have you seen the last account statement?" <duck and hide>
The second is easier to validate:
You are working hard.
You are wondering whether you have to run it forever.
PwBPD are not really good in saying the right thing and it takes sometimes guessing. The problem is what comes out is often invalidating. Not taking the bait is is a key challenge we face. If we would follow the advertised path the relationship would go downhill fast.
The trick is for us is to STOP and think before reacting.
Me either. My partner has improved dramatically except in this one area. I do not have much hope that it will anytime soon. I see other people on here who have been in relationships for 30+ years and still deal with it! Don't you just give up and get over it at some point?
Drama has it's place but not in my backyard
. Drama she creates elsewhere is her problem and her problem alone - no bail out.
