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Topic: What a weekend (Read 670 times)
arn131arn
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: living apart
Posts: 826
What a weekend
«
on:
February 23, 2014, 05:33:58 PM »
My boy and I spent our first weekend together in a very long time.
She didn't allow me to see him for his birthday a few weeks ago (filed bogus RO to prevent me actually).
oh well, We had a surprise birthday party for him today with my family. He loved it. My family and I made the entire weekend about him. He told me today over and over again that it was the best day he had had in a long long time.
Nobody in my family, including myself, will ever talk bad about my ex to him. We believe that telling a child something bad about one of their parents is telling them that there is something terrible about half of them.
It made my heart swell, when he told me, "I love you and miss you, daddy."
You see that was my biggest fear. My replacement taking my place, not only as the man in my ex's life; but the man in my son's, as well. God removed that fear from me today. From my head to my heart came the conscious realization that I will always be his father and no amount of vindictiveness from his mother or her family is going to stop that. All I need to do is stay sober and be there for my son.
I reinforced I was not mad at mommy nor my replacement. I reinforced that I was, indeed, happy for them both... . he smiled. I will not let him think that he is in the middle of this in any way. His smile warmed my heart, settled my nerves, and in his eyes, I could see the presence of a God. He doesn't judge me, he doesn't think I'm terrible, he doesn't see my flaws or defects... . he sees a man that he wants in his life... . a man that he loves.
That, my friends, is my definition of a higher being. That is my reason for living.
My last test for a while is on Tuesday, I will be studying until then. I believe we have all walked through a little hell in these relationships, but if we continue to do the right thing, no matter how bad the struggle, we WILL recreate our lives with those around us who love us.
What a wonderful life this is... .
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Waifed
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Re: What a weekend
«
Reply #1 on:
February 23, 2014, 05:40:36 PM »
Arn
You will always be Dad. Don't you ever doubt that.
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Turkish
BOARD ADMINISTRATOR
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12183
Dad to my wolf pack
Re: What a weekend
«
Reply #2 on:
February 23, 2014, 05:53:55 PM »
That is so awesome, Arn, and I'm happy for you, your son, and your family. This weekend is the start of a new and better life!
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“For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
fromheeltoheal
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Relationship status: Broken up, I left her
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Re: What a weekend
«
Reply #3 on:
February 23, 2014, 05:54:24 PM »
Good weekend man! I'm really happy you had that time with your son and it filled up your heart.
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Cumulus
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 414
Re: What a weekend
«
Reply #4 on:
February 23, 2014, 06:01:16 PM »
What an uplifting post, thank you arn. You sound like a really special and wonderful father, your boy is blessed to have a stabilizing presence in his life. All the best. Cumulus.
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designgrl
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 24
Re: What a weekend
«
Reply #5 on:
February 23, 2014, 06:41:01 PM »
What a wonderful thing you did for your son this weekend!
I enjoyed reading your post!
Cheers to you!
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Perfidy
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Divorced/18 years Single/5 months that I know of.
Posts: 1594
Re: What a weekend
«
Reply #6 on:
February 23, 2014, 06:51:19 PM »
Very cool arn, that's awesome. Your son will always remember that, and he knows no one else can be his dad. I love what you said about the feelings you have when you look in his eyes. What a perfect guide. That is the same feeling you have when you look in your own eyes and place that same value upon your self. Happy for you!
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Tausk
Formerly "Schroeder's Piano"
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Re: What a weekend
«
Reply #7 on:
February 23, 2014, 07:50:51 PM »
Thanks for the post. I don't have children, but got very emotional just reading the first paragraphs. Thanks again. It helps me when you share your courage and hope.
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myself
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Re: What a weekend
«
Reply #8 on:
February 23, 2014, 08:51:38 PM »
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Surnia
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Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
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Re: What a weekend
«
Reply #9 on:
February 23, 2014, 10:46:17 PM »
Arn,
I am so happy for you.
Quote from: arn131arn on February 23, 2014, 05:33:58 PM
You see that was my biggest fear. My replacement taking my place, not only as the man in my ex's life; but the man in my son's, as well. God removed that fear from me today. From my head to my heart came the conscious realization that I will always be his father and no amount of vindictiveness from his mother or her family is going to stop that. All I need to do is stay sober and be there for my son.
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“Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.” Brené Brown
A Dad
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Posts: 94
Re: What a weekend
«
Reply #10 on:
February 23, 2014, 11:00:57 PM »
Hugs man
I just came back to bed after struggling 4 hours putting my two boys back in bed as they kept waking up at night. This post made me tear up. They are everything. The thing about seeing God in their eyes. Feels so true, and I don't even believe in God.
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arn131arn
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: living apart
Posts: 826
Re: What a weekend
«
Reply #11 on:
February 23, 2014, 11:17:15 PM »
Quote from: A Dad on February 23, 2014, 11:00:57 PM
Hugs man
I just came back to bed after struggling 4 hours putting my two boys back in bed as they kept waking up at night. This post made me tear up. They are everything. The thing about seeing God in their eyes. Feels so true, and I don't even believe in God.
As a science and math guy, I felt that way many many times before, dad. Yet throughout this entire process, He has been revealing himself to me. Subtley. I don't think I can ever truly say there is not one... . ever again.
You are right, he is everything to me. They pull at your heartstrings. Damn, I love that boy
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GreenMango
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Re: What a weekend
«
Reply #12 on:
February 24, 2014, 12:28:46 AM »
This was wonderful to read Arn.
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Clearmind
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Re: What a weekend
«
Reply #13 on:
February 24, 2014, 08:38:18 AM »
Great news
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DreamGirl
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 4017
Do. Or do not. There is no try.
Re: What a weekend
«
Reply #14 on:
February 27, 2014, 07:33:10 PM »
Quote from: arn131arn on February 23, 2014, 05:33:58 PM
Nobody in my family, including myself, will ever talk bad about my ex to him. We believe that telling a child something bad about one of their parents is telling them that there is something terrible about half of them.
This is pretty amazing arn131arn.
Not many folks can accomplish this.
I am thrilled that you were able to see your son... . and will continue to be able to.
Kids need their Dad.
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