Why do we hang on for so long?

[heartbroken25]

Been with my dBPDh for 11 years of marriage and all together as a couple for 26years.  He has recently left me, again.  Twice since we've been married and before then about 3 times, so needless to say I've allowed myself to be re-cycled.  Why do we endure so much?  Do we love too much or not love ourselves enough?  Are we emotional masochist?  I am struggling.  I know I'm a good person like I'm sure most of you are.  I'm kind, loving, caring. Honestly, I don't know how to be any other way and don't want to change that.  But I also feel that this is getting in the way of finding my anger and setting boundaries.  :'(

[MissyM]

This is the most important questions for us to ask ourselves!  Therapy is so helpful for this.  I realize that I was conditioned pretty early on to tolerate the intolerable.  My mother had a breakdown when I was about 11 and I became the caretaker.  Therefore, I forgive way too many things and allow myself to be taken advantage of.  I am working on changing that and it is hard work.