She has grumbled once about taking kids several states away to her family. Knowing her I'm sure this qualifies as our discussion and she thinks it is a plan that I am on board with.
In most of our distressed relationships communication has degenerated to one way message sending and passive aggressive behavior. Getting back to a healthy exchange of information and interests takes time. Fear of rejection is a big factor on both sides in that game.
My gut says it will be a "this is what is going to happen try and stop me event"... . she has tried several in the past and I have successfully stopped her. This one will not be as "shocking" (such as leaving me alone on Christmas with no kids)... so it won't be as hard for her to get everyone else on board.
Wondering if I am better off to not fight it? Try to make local plans that she would have to change to drag kids off.
Luckily... . no "real" danger at her family... . but it is the power play move of I am doing this (and kids want to do it) and you can't stop me... . and you are not coming.
Thoughts?
1) What do you really want? What you need to consider depends a bit on this
2) If you are ok with her plans - are you also ok with the way she pushed things through at this point in time or do you want to start a new pattern? If you are not ok with her plans - are you willing to tolerate it - are you willing to make a stand and what would that boundary then look like?
