Has anyone dealt with this sort of thing in their divorce/separation process? Advice is most welcome, as I am extremely stressed out about this, while still (unbelievably) nursing a broken heart that could so easily give in because I am trying to be the good guy, rather than fully standing up for myself against her nonsense.
Yes. Especially the part where nothing seems to chastise N/BPDx, and only makes him more arrogant and impossible. My judge has filed a motion for gatekeeping against N/BPDx, which is to prevent N/BPDx from filing motions. That's the big league! Your own judge is filing motions against you. Most people would catch on.
Every time I go to court (have lost count), the judge finds N/BPDx in contempt of court, and orders him to pay my legal fees. I have to take him to court to get him to comply with the order to pay fees. So then I pay legal fees to get the legal fees, which he is then ordered to pay too. Cycle continues. My ex is an attorney representing himself. Maybe I should start charging admission and see if I can generate some revenue in ticket sales.
High-conflict divorces are nightmares. Make sure you document everything. I don't know what it's like to separate stuff if you aren't married -- my court is family law. Not sure what court you're dealing with? But the pattern of entitled behavior, making stuff up, creating chaos, that seems pretty standard for what people here experience.
Sorry. Have you read Splitting by Bill Eddy? Even if you aren't married, it might help to read it. It'll give you a good idea about how BPD and courts mix. The legal process tends to be very triggering and adversarial in nature, which inflames the high conflict.
