any thoughts? advice?

[willtimeheal]

My bPD and I have been together for over 5 years. It has been a rollercoaster ride with many ups and downs.  She left me last summer and ran off and got married to some guy she hardly knew and then begged me to forgive her. Things have been ok this last 9 months. She has grown and so have I. A big piece she always complained about was me not telling my family we are a couple. I went to therapy dealt with it and am willing to tell my family we are a lesbian couple. Even with that piece dealt with there is still hesitation on her part. We see each other at work and in the evenings she goes to her mother's. She likes it there cuz she can drink. She drinks a lot. She is now using the excuse we have to not move forward in the relationship till the kids graduate. That's four more years of living apart. We spent this whole weekend apart. She was at her mother's. Does it ever get better?  Is there always an excuse?  Will I just end up wasting four years waiting?  She talks about marriage but honestly I don't ever see it happening.  First it was me not exposing our relationship now that it is not an issue she has found another excuse. Help!