Epic fail

[Perdita]

This is the real truth.  They DO fuse into one person; they take what they feel is important to the other, and they BECOME it.  When the other finally figures it out, this blows BPD's cover.  I feel that my ex is so angry with me for this specific reason - that I've blown his cover.

Very good observation.  I think this is common with other PD people too.  You become the enemy the moment you see their true colors.  I believe that is usually when the smear campaign starts.  They want people to think the problem is with you, not them. They want to keep their cover.

 

As I said, I don't have to worry about him coming back and begging for another chance, but I DO have to watch the gaslighting and baiting.

At least you know what he is doing.  It is extra rough in the beginning when one is clueless about their tactics.  Can make you question your own sanity.

I hope you are feeling better today after a not so great weekend.

[1KitKat]

Thanks, Perdita.  It's another week, so I have stuff to distract me so I don't think about it too, too much.  As for the smear campaign, he denies that too but as of about a month after he left the house last year, his family suddenly wouldn't talk to me or our son anymore.  In retrospect, the fact is that he had moved out but had NOT told his family and refused to do so.  When I finally let them know, he had to talk about it with them and then... .   poof!  No more phone calls for me, emails ignored, his own grandmother and aunt have not so much as wished our son happy birthday or Merry Christmas.  It's pathetic, but again when I blew his cover, that was his way of retaliating.  I'd have LOVED to have been a fly on the wall when he told them whatever he told them !  Must have been pretty awful.

[Perdita]

Wow, KitKat.  Sounds like he has indeed been smearing you and your son to the family.  It's hurtful, but to be expected, I guess.  He still wants to appear to be the good guy and playing the victim is probably his best way of doing this.  Think about it: if someone told you something horrible about someone else, someone you liked and trusted, and now you are told they did this and that and said some awful things about you ... . what would you do?  Especially if the other person says something like "don't let on that you know or this person will make my life an even bigger hell".  I figured out that this is how a lot of PD people go to work when smearing others.  They count on the people involved breaking communication.  This is how they keep getting away with it.  It's the reason why I no longer believe in keeping people's dirty secrets and covering up out of shame etc.  It only gives them more power and control over everyone.

Very sad that your son's grandmother and aunt didn't even wish him a happy birthday.  Goes to show how awful the lies are.

[Hurtbeyondrepair27]

This is killing me. I think I look to him for validation. Just like I

Did w my step dad.