My ex's grandma passed away recently.

[confused alot]

My ex's grandma passed away recently. (Saw the obituary)

I have some things that her grandma made and would like to send them back to her mom. I respected and loved her parents as they took me in as one of their own. I have not spoken with them in two months. I'm not trying to re engage in their lives, but want to do this out of respect for my ex's mom. I think her mom would appreciate it more than I can. Any thoughts will be appreciated.

My breakup with their daughter was not classy, (as she brought the worst out in me) I'm sure the way they used to respect me has diminished as I am sure my ex went on a smearing campaign like she did the rest of her ex's.

[WalrusGumboot]

What you want to do is an honorable thing and my thought is that you should go with your instinct here. Just slip in a courteous note in effect saying that she (your ex's mom) might appreciate these items to remember her mother by and that you are sorry for her loss. Not much else needs to be said.

[Lucky Jim]

Agree w/Walrus.  Keep it simple and respectful.  LuckyJim

[Red Sky]

Also agree. It's a very nice gesture to make.

[Chunk Palumbo]

I personally wouldn't worry about the smear nor the respect the ex's family has. If she took you for granted and abused you, you had the right to respond.

Still, be careful. BPDexs have been known to use such tragedies to draw outliers back in.