Thanks to you all, things have been better lately

[madmom]

Well, I almost hate to post this because my 26 year old BPDD has a way of proving me so wrong---but thanks to the things I have learned here---especially the validating and the use of SET things have really been better for our daughter, my husband and I.  Because of your support and the lessons/tools we have been able to set better boundaries, allow her to make her mistakes and not try to rush in to fix it, and we communicate much better.  She has been to a few family events and come home to visit in the past few weeks and has been the wonderful, pleasant, grownup daughter we always wanted her to be.  She has been taking responsibility for herself and has even made an appt. to begin going back to therapy next week.  (Here is a little bird walk---A few weeks ago we were talking about therapy and I said something about why do you want to return to therapy.  She said something that I always knew was true and  because she said it so innocently and with such truth that I almost laughed.  She said "Mom, haven't you noticed that when I stop going that is when I slip down the rabbit hole and start having trouble again?"  Anyway, I just want to thank everyone who posts on this site I learn so much from all of you.  I know that things will not always be this good, but for now I am enjoying what I have.  Mostly I just want to say thank you and you all have my support in this roller coaster ride we all live in each and every day. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[jellibeans]

tr

that is such good news... .so happy to hear that your dd is going back to therapy.

[HealingSpirit]

Dear TR,

How wonderful!  Thank you so much for sharing this success!  It really helps to know that validation and S.E.T. can and do alter the outcome in the real world.  I LOVE that you posted your daughter's quote... .

"Mom, haven't you noticed that when I stop going to therapy that is when I slip down the rabbit hole and start having trouble again?"

That is so cute!  You made my day.

Hugs!

[lever.]

Great to hear that things are going better, tr-its good to have some good news.

Things have been more settled here too-validation and SET have helped a lot.(Still tense but much better).

I do tend to only post when I'm finding things difficult and its good to know that the skills can be effective.

(For those of you struggling at the moment I DO know it is a two way street and sometimes our best efforts don't immediately show results).