I made it through Day 5 of his

[calmboom]

Hi  I made it through Day 5 of ST from my uBPD BF.  It hasn't been easy and my emotions have been all over the map.  I chose not to attend a grad party we had both been invited to with a planned stay at his house. Tomorrow, I return to work to the office we both work at. Its a large place but we usually run into each other at the coffee station. I am a bit nervous about the cold chill that might be lurking there! 

[NotASnowflake]

I'm in a similar spot. I just wrapped up a week of ST. I can sympathize. It's not normal for us to not talk for this long. But I enjoyed it. For the most part I did what I want, when I wanted and it was pretty nice. But it's been miserable too... .

[flowerpath]

One thing is for sure:  You cannot twist someone's arm into wanting to have a relationship with you.  I'd say don't go chasing after a person who has BPD (or anyone for that matter) if he or she wants to leave the relationship, no matter how painful the breakup is.  Maybe the lessons in "Attachment Leads to Suffering; Detachment Leads to Freedom" lessons on the "Leaving: Detaching from the Wounds of a Failed BPD Relationship" page would be helpful for you.  Instead of focusing on the person who left you, look for ways that you can take care of your yourself.  When your thoughts go to that person, immediately think of something positive to replace those thoughts.  Find something constructive to put your time and energy into that will improve your life.  You've had this experience dating a person who has BPD, so look out after yourself.  When you meet someone new, be alert and very discerning about the person's behavior.

[calmboom]

Day 6 Nothing.  I briefly saw someone peer into my conference room, kinda looked like him. dunno.  left early to tend to things at home. Changing up my routines and schedule.  Still thinking about things.  Wish there was some hint of a closure but that may come in time.  Thank you for the support. 

[OutOfEgypt]

Hi calmboom,

That must be harrowing to have to possibly bump into him at work.  I live in a small town with my ex, and sometimes I bump into her or my friends do.  I unfortunately still have to see her because we share children, but it isn't fun.  However, it gets better and maybe 90% of it is the anticipation.  

As far as closure goes, unfortunately you need to dig that up from within yourself.  You cannot be dependent upon him for it.  It won't work like that.

[Confusedmae]

Learn to use that time productively to nurture yourself. You definitely need it.

[LilHurt420]

the ST use to really bother me, but now I kinda like it

I was getting the ST this weekend (only lasted 2 days though) and that entire time I did what I wanted to do, didn't have to worry about walking on egg shells and really enjoyed time with my cousin (who is really one of my only close friends) without having to worry in the back of my head I have to hurry home and what I'd be coming home to.