I don't even know what to do now. It's my ex's weekend and I feel so helpless... .He's developed such a heavy anxiety to being away from me now. When I leave for work in the morning, he cries and cries and cries. Not a fit, but fearful crying. What has this monster done to our child? All for the sake of being able to control me.
Not to criticize and it may not even be the case, but could your child be reflecting the emotions, worries and insecurities that he senses from you? It may not be intended but it can happen. Try to make a special effort to keep your worries to yourself. Your calmness, strength and comfort may very well make a real difference to him.
I'm pretty angry with our court system. When I was there yesterday, for 2 hours, I watched lots of people filter through, asking the judge for help in protecting themselves and so many of them that were visibly shaken and needed assistance were shut down and told that their fears were invalid. All the while, the aggressors were being validated and shown that they CAN get away with their behavior.
That's a consequence of having an adversarial process in court. Court considers that many cases are not as bad as they're portrayed. And a judge has to decide where the greatest risks are based on the information at hand. Sadly, it is a judicial system and not a justice system, it generally takes more time for the court to get a sense of where protection is needed.
And yes, the inaction and delays in court do serve to entitle and even enable the misbehaving parent. Over time your perseverance and documentation should help the court to rein them in a bit.
