As difficult as the process was, it is a relief to have the decision and know where you stand. There's probably 10-14 days where ex might file an objection but let's hope not. It wouldn't delay anything since the children are already with their father under the temporary order.
So then you wouldn't alternate years for those holidays? I wonder whether silence on 'vacations' means there are none, replaced by one weekend per month?
She can have an order to get counseling and provide proof, whether she will do either is something else entirely. But this is good, the decision was sufficiently positive that dad won't appeal. Depending on which issues that arise in the years to come, he may return to court. And possibly even move the case to his state. Does he have to get her approval on major decisions regarding the children? It sounds like he has what we term "decision-making", his ex gets access to records but little more.
There are alternate holidays but this year was to be her big year for holidays anyway. There is a provision that any time not spelled out in the order must be agreed to by the parties. Which means this magistrate fully expects DH to be reasonable and act in the kids best interests when it comes to the BPDex's parenting time in the summer and beyond that one weekend a month. Of course, he will be, but only in the kid's best interest.
We are absolutely moving the case to our state ASAP! Six months for residency. That means we file in January for a hearing in February, to have her get a continuance at the last minute, to have the change of jurisdiction finally heard in probably April or May of next year. Assuming the GAL won't fight the change of jurisdiction, as the order says she is not to be released in case the kids still need her.
The order spells out what they have to make decisions on together. Which is fair, because it is anything they must split the costs of. But for extracurriculars and whatnot it's up to DH to decide. The order also orders both kids into therapy immediately. So the important decisions were already made for the parties.
The worst thing the decision said about DH was that it was clear that he had been collecting evidence against BPD mom with an eye toward litigation.
what's wrong with that? doesn't a person have to build a case?
I'm not entirely sure what her point was in that. But the magistrate cited BPD mom's complaint that everything he has done he has done to prepare and make himself look good for court and the magistrate's order says his "litigious intent" was factored into her decision. To be honest, I think that is just another way of saying that since he wanted this, he's going to have to foot the full bill for the GAL and every other cost that might normally be split between the parties. This particular magistrate has a reputation for protecting the financial interests of mothers over what is fair.