New, terrified & desperate for advice & support

[Angelwings2012]

 

Hi everyone, (this is a duplicate post as I have two threads I believe and I'm typing on my phone due to no Internet so cannot write fully)

Just wanted to update (albeit on my phone so excuse any typos) that I have been gone for over a month now. I am doing so so much better having been apart and away from the drama and I am no longer physically sick (shaking/racing pulse) my anxiety seems to have vanished and im eating a decent meal everyday as my (poor by anyones standards) appetite has made an unexpected return.

I have worked and slept and worked and just slept! Sleep! Its amazing how distancing yourself from drama and just concentrating on basic human need (food/sleep) can change your life... I honestly didn't think 'it' would be like this so quickly nor that I could 'feel' like this so quickly... I expected a full on fight/stalking/phone on fire from calls texts and threats of suicide etc... hasn't happened... yet?

R has also calmed down and whilst still drinking herself silly on her new medication, im not there to see it and she does it secretly... I know if I dont hear from her late in the evening, she is drinking/drunk...

we have met a couple of times and she has been fine... I even stayed at the house two nights ago and she & I drank some beers and she behaved impeccably, I was straight up and said I simply would leave if there was any grief/anger/re-hash. (What i have noticed, is when given (and this sounds so patronizing) but when given a strict boundary/rule in ADVANCE, R doesn't breach it... It was actually a really pleasant evening... how things used to be when we first met...

We have had open and honest discussion about remaining friends, I have said it would be a great shame to be enemies and I'm willing to meet up for an hour or whatever/whenever... that I WILL NOT ABANDON HER, which I won't,  and it seems to have worked... the panic on her end has ceased & R seems calmer in the transition... helping her work out a plan to take on the house on her own financially... I've paid the gas & electric bill, we seem to have acceptance... if it stays this way, surely this is the best possible outcome? 

Anyway, just an update for you and thankyou a million times over for helping me/us...  

Angel x