To be honest I would have done the open relationship thing with my ex IF she didn't devalue me and was respectful.
I did the open relationship thing. And I was able to handle her having other partners. She even moved one into the family home.
What hurt, wasn't sharing her. It was the raw neglect, the control, the expressing how her actions hurt and just receiving glares or being immediately attacked for how horrible I was. How horrible I was for persistently demanding from her. (Now mind you, many times all I was asking for was a kiss good night or a kiss as I left for work. And during periods, these would be refused.)
I just read this in another thread and was like WOW. That totally makes sense.
"A borderline never " ends" a r/s. They leave for another. They do none of the in between work of honest communication and appropriate closure. They never "end" a r/s and they will never leave a r/s unless they have already begun a new r/s. And have a safe place to land. "