Two years on... positives

[Kate4queen]

Two years ago I found this place. Two years ago my then almost 21 yr old BPD son walked out of our house, raging and threatening us, banned us from seeing him through major spinal surgery and chose to live with another family-who were 'his true family and his new parents'.

I thought I was going to have a heart attack from the stress and I wanted to die.

It's his 23rd birthday tomorrow, and I've only seen him twice since that day. Once when I had to ask him to leave my house and once in a restaurant where I was so upset I had to walk away.

We still pay for an apartment for him and his younger brother and give him a small monthly living allowance. We still communicate with him via email and have learned to disengage when he starts to rage or demand money.

I know that he has found himself a job helping others, (very important for him to feel superior to people so this is good). I know he is getting paid every month (3 months so far which is promising) I know that he needs more surgery and we have offered to help him with that once he gets health insurance sorted.

I still have moments when I hate what has happened to my family, how scarred my other children are by the horrible dynamics with all lived with. But you know what? Things could be a lot worse. I didn't think he'd make 22 what will all the prescription drug abuse etc etc.

Always waiting for the other shoe to drop but hopeful. And that's something I haven't been able to say for 13 years.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Rapt Reader]

I still have moments when I hate what has happened to my family, how scarred my other children are by the horrible dynamics with all lived with. But you know what? Things could be a lot worse. I didn't think he'd make 22 what will all the prescription drug abuse etc etc.

Always waiting for the other shoe to drop but hopeful. And that's something I haven't been able to say for 13 years.

Great update, Kate4queen 

Good insights, and hopeful is cool 

I'm really happy to hear your story, and your situation and mindset today.

Gives us all hope... .