Why did we stay in this uhealthy rs is it because sex was good ?

[guy4caligirl]

Sometimes I think like okay sex was good but let's say an hour or two a day depending right  ?

Now was it worth all these agony ?

[clydegriffith]

Well i mainly stayed because i have a young child with the BPDx and foolishly wanted to try and make things work for my daughter. But i'll be honest, during many heated arguments and mini-breakups she always lured me back with sex and i kept falling for it because it was amazing. Looking back on things she was everything i wanted in bed but that's about it. A relationship shouldnt be based on that. She would have made a great F*k buddy, which is what she initially was until she decided i would be her next victim and trap me with a baby.

[divinehammer]

My BPDgf was the most sexually open I've ever been with. I was admittedly addicted, like a drug. I still think about it daily. We filled our time doing that rather than having conversations about anything of real honest emotional substance. I have never failed on that in the past, but with her she simply didn't want to hear it. Anything of substance was "corny" or threatening somehow.

Toward the end, she thought she was pregnant every single month, there was drama, and then I'd do the math: her period was perfectly on time. I'll never know what that was about other than extremely high anxiety.

[Deeno02]

No. It was standard. I stayed because I loved her.

[Raybo48]

Sometimes I think like okay sex was good but let's say an hour or two a day depending right  ?

Now was it worth all these agony ?

I sure as hell didn't stay in for the sex... It's real hard to be interested in that with the crazy-making behavior nearly every other day from my BPDxgf.  That was the LAST thing on my mind usually because of the insane drama, chaos, and her constantly making me feel like crap. So instead of her understanding why I wasn't interested sometimes because of all that crap and talk to me about it know what she did instead?   She went and told all of her girlfriends and guy friends I was gay! Because how could any guy not want to have sex with her and if they didn't they had to be gay.  Even as I write this I'm getting pissed off all over again...

[smoocher]

No. I stayed because I thought he was the one, and I had made a commitment. The sex was initially infused with his anxieties as well. As time went on, I became less interested because of the 'crazy-making'. This, of course, meant that I had a problem with sex itself... .

It really is too easy to wake up the anger, thinking on these things. Too much injustice.

[fred6]

Sometimes I think like okay sex was good but let's say an hour or two a day depending right  ?

Now was it worth all these agony ?

I sure as hell didn't stay in for the sex... It's real hard to be interested in that with the crazy-making behavior nearly every other day from my BPDxgf.  That was the LAST thing on my mind usually because of the insane drama, chaos, and her constantly making me feel like crap. So instead of her understanding why I wasn't interested sometimes because of all that crap and talk to me about it know what she did instead?   She went and told all of her girlfriends and guy friends I was gay! Because how could any guy not want to have sex with her and if they didn't they had to be gay.  Even as I write this I'm getting pissed off all over again...

Join the club, I haven't been posting much because I've been so pissed off all week Raybo. And I didn't stay for the sex either. Hell, what sex? We rarely had sex, because she had "issues" To tell you the truth, I don't know why I stayed. I have since found out that she had been seeing my replacement much longer than I have known about.

The other day I was talking to a mutual friend of me and my ex. I was explaining to them what happened from my point of view. At the end of my story I called her a slut and the mutual friend said that I was being mean by calling her that. I then informed the person that I don't know another nice word for "slut". A promiscuous woman with loose sexual morals is a slut.

Me and my ex aren't friends on facebook any longer. But it's all starting to slip out through my posts. And also when I talk to people I tend not to hold my tongue. My ex tried to sweep all of this under the rug and keep it all quiet to keep her Godly good person reputation intact. Meanwhile, I'm just cast away. I know she wants me to disappear quietly and silently, but I just don't know if I can do that. I'm trying so hard right now, but every week that goes by the angrier I get.

[Raybo48]

Sometimes I think like okay sex was good but let's say an hour or two a day depending right  ?

Now was it worth all these agony ?

I sure as hell didn't stay in for the sex... It's real hard to be interested in that with the crazy-making behavior nearly every other day from my BPDxgf.  That was the LAST thing on my mind usually because of the insane drama, chaos, and her constantly making me feel like crap. So instead of her understanding why I wasn't interested sometimes because of all that crap and talk to me about it know what she did instead?   She went and told all of her girlfriends and guy friends I was gay! Because how could any guy not want to have sex with her and if they didn't they had to be gay.  Even as I write this I'm getting pissed off all over again...

Join the club, I haven't been posting much because I've been so pissed off all week Raybo. And I didn't stay for the sex either. Hell, what sex? We rarely had sex, because she had "issues" To tell you the truth, I don't know why I stayed. I have since found out that she had been seeing my replacement much longer than I have known about.

The other day I was talking to a mutual friend of me and my ex. I was explaining to them what happened from my point of view. At the end of my story I called her a slut and the mutual friend said that I was being mean by calling her that. I then informed the person that I don't know another nice word for "slut". A promiscuous woman with loose sexual morals is a slut.

Me and my ex aren't friends on facebook any longer. But it's all starting to slip out through my posts. And also when I talk to people I tend not to hold my tongue. My ex tried to sweep all of this under the rug and keep it all quiet to keep her Godly good person reputation intact. Meanwhile, I'm just cast away. I know she wants me to disappear quietly and silently, but I just don't know if I can do that. I'm trying so hard right now, but every week that goes by the angrier I get.

I hear you. They have their triggers for the disorder and we have ours for getting pissed off when we think about/find out about certain things.   I don't mind getting mad as long as it passes and I don't hold onto it for hours/days.  I think it's a good way to heal in some cases and can be used as a reminder of all the bad when some of the good creeps in and clouds my judgment.  I don't mind thinking about the good once in while, but it didn't dominate the relationship like the crazy dysfunction did seemingly every other day.