Why am I so stupid?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

  I keep thinking there is something I can *get* from seeing my borderline ex. Like we could have fun again, or she could help heal me. But everything is still too raw. I still forget too easily that she is crazy. We got together last night, it was nice, but somehow we started talking about our relationship and our different takes on it and I got upset. My sense of self is so vulnerable these days. It is so obvious that "NC" is the way to go because being too much in contact with her makes me feel so crazy. Things are better the farther away from them She is.

I still feel dumb for letting her treat me so bad for so long. When we were together, I had compassion for myself around her, but I sure as heck don't now.

[peacebaby]

  I keep thinking there is something I can *get* from seeing my borderline ex. Like we could have fun again, or she could help heal me. But everything is still too raw. I still forget too easily that she is crazy. We got together last night, it was nice, but somehow we started talking about our relationship and our different takes on it and I got upset. My sense of self is so vulnerable these days. It is so obvious that "NC" is the way to go because being too much in contact with her makes me feel so crazy. Things are better the farther away from them She is.

I still feel dumb for letting her treat me so bad for so long. When we were together, I had compassion for myself around her, but I sure as heck don't now.

[EaglesJuju]

Hi peacebaby,

It is understandable that you still want to be around your ex.  :)etaching is really hard at first, especially since your emotions are still raw.  Perhaps going NC may be the best solution.  It is hard to heal if you are constantly keeping the wound open.  Take some time to work on you. Have you read the lessons on the right?  

May the force be with you.

[peacebaby]

Thanks, EaglesJuju. I actually have been spending most of my time working on my issues, working harder than I ever have, and it's still very painful just to be me half the time. Oh, I've detached, but in a way, I doubt I will ever completely detach from her, which is okay, because she's my ex and we shared a lot. But being away from her feels better.