BPD Thinking?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

This subject has probably been raised before but there is something I have been wondering most of tonight.

Lots of people on the site identify that pwBPD do not think like we do and we can identify with that.

However,

In the mindset of a pwBPD, do they think that we think like they do?

[Ripped Heart]

This subject has probably been raised before but there is something I have been wondering most of tonight.

Lots of people on the site identify that pwBPD do not think like we do and we can identify with that.

However,

In the mindset of a pwBPD, do they think that we think like they do?

[EaglesJuju]

Hi Ripped Heart,

From my experience, my pwBPD has told me that he sometimes thinks that I think the same way he does.  (I know that sounds really confusing  )

[draptemp]

Ripped Heart, your question is certainly a valid one from a lot of perspectives. I have been in a relationship with  dBPDso for over 3.5 years and one recurring thing has been present, in my case, since the beginning. He emphatically feels my thinking and reasoning are totally different than his and that my rationale is askew and his is spot on. In many situations; he does have an acute understanding of the elements of any given event; however, that thinking quickly turns to rage, splitting and projection that does not seem to be stoppable once the ball is rolling. It's like a snowball and I can see it happening once it begins but there is no stopping it and ultimately it is blamed on me because my thinking was not like his. Just my view

[SlyQQ]

Could be projection eagle one thing that seems apparent to me is there memory is different ( sometimes a week is like years to them an of course changing things ) the line but what have you done for me recently takes on a whole new meaning

[Ripped Heart]

Many thanks guys,

I seemed to think so too because tonight I was thinking back to some of her rages that just didn't make sense at the time. However, if I was to approach it from that mindset I can see possible reasons how that could come about.

Like you said drap, there were times she would apologise afterwards because she knew she was being irrational and would often say it was her illness making her think like that. But when the rages started initially, it was as though she was treating my thinking as being the same as hers. I should be thinking exactly as she is or it meant I was plotting against her.

[enlighten me]

I had a lightbulb moment a while back where I realised that if they think we think like them then when we do something wrong they paint us black so when they do something wrong they believe we paint them black.

This made sense of how minor things blew up into major dramas.

[HappyNihilist]

From my experience, my pwBPD has told me that he sometimes thinks that I think the same way he does.  (I know that sounds really confusing  )

My exBPDbf has said the same thing.

I'm sure it depends on the individual, like most things. But especially pwBPD who are more self-aware seem to realize, for the most part, that not everyone sees the world the same way they do. I think most people are guilty of at least occasionally thinking that our way of thinking is how others do or "should" think... .especially two people in an enmeshed relationship. Especially during a very emotional reaction, we tend to expect people to react the same way we would.

As for overall, not just in times of dysregulation? My exbf certainly had a negativistic view of the world and people's intentions, and often erred on the side of ascribing malicious intent. He didn't do this to me unless he was severely dysregulated -- but he did encourage me to take on the same worldview, because he "promised" that more people were like him than were like me.

[bruceli]

I believe they think we do but this why they are confused much of the rime because they we don't think like them.  Also, from what I have observed, they are confused by other PD's as well due to their " I can do it you but don't you dare do it to me" attitude.