I am sorry to hear this... .did she acknowledge that she has a problem of any kind? Is she seeking therapy?
I have been recycled 6 times - she has not yet completed the 7th cycle. The first few were prompted by arguments... .non-issues really that she conjured up to tee up her flight after getting too close. Each one went according to the same script... .strange argument... .break up (usually over the phone)... .time away, 3 hours to 1 week to 1 month... .an email (she seemed to have always had SOME reason lying around to justify contacting me. eg. here is the logon to your website,etc.)... .then I would call her... .she would be angry and I had to work hard not to get sucked into the rage... .then we would arrange to meet and it would be all over... .she told me each and every time 2 things: upon mere sight of you, I had relief from the episode (I'm not THAT much to look at,
) and was no longer angry, 'all became well with the world' she would say and then she would say 'I need to see someone for help'. I would assuage her and tell her all will be ok and it was swept under the rug.
The last time she did some things like block her cell phone for a bit and she began to ask her family to unfriend me on FB. This proved to be a hint of the next disappearing act. I left out of town on business 3 weeks after she had just moved in all was normal, no fights, no incidents. We were making plans for the weekend and get a together at the house and our wedding, etc. just life. Backtracking, I was able to deduce that this was a powerful trigger for her; as I had gone out of town before, this was the first time that she would have been all alone in MY house after a series of other stresses in her life (her 18 year old son had just moved out as well and moving in was also a huge adjustment). The next day I got the usual kind of text in the morning. In the afternoon, I got one that said: ' our relationship is over... .I have moved out... .do NOT try to contact me!'.
Of course I did try to contact her immediately, any sane person would, only to find out that I was blocked from calling and texting. Same with her sons phone. I called friends and relatives... .few that answered... .her dad was very surprised (and accepted a couple of calls that I made to him later). I tried to call from my hotel where only VM would answer. Then I got a nasty text threatening to call the cops if I tried calling anyone including her. I then discovered that she blocked me on FB, unfriended all of my friends and successfully compelled almost all of her friends and family to also unfriend me (I REALLY shudder to think of what she had to invent in order to get 30+ people to do that). She also blocked me on other social media and blocked almost all of my email addresses.
I gave it a month and tired to call her from the hotel on a another business trip. I also sent her an email saying 'we are better than this, lets talk'. Upon my return from that trip, my mailbox had a letter threatening a PPO if I tried to contact her again (full of various mistruths to make it look like she REALLY was being stalked). A call on Christmas Eve had a similar reaction where I received a call from the police.
I wanted to see if she was stalking my FB page which I had made 'public' earlier this week. She left a LOT of her stuff here including a trunk of sentimental/priceless keepsake type of stuff; baby booties, old family photos, grandmothers jewelry, etc. I'll take guesses as to why she left it here. However, I took a photo of it and put it on facebook with the caption: 'I don't need this any longer, I was going to drag it out to the curb with its contents but thoght that someone may want to come save it from the trash'. I put that up on Monday and it took until yesterday to get a response from one of her least liked friends (I suppose that she had approached others who insisted that she be a big girl and call me directly and was rebuffed) via IM.
The exchange was like talking to an 8 year old the details of which are an entirely different story. But the net/net was that I was very clear to offer her property back to her but ONLY upon the condition that SHE make the arrangements, that SHE comes and picks it up and that SHE provide me a full accounting of why she did what she did. The very idea (i am sure that she was on the phone with my ex as she was typing) seemed to have the equivalent appeal as pouring acid in her eyes... .as have the the past three months. Why in the worlkd is her resistance to ANY form of contact so extreme? She seems to be perfectly willing to have me throw her keepsakes away to prevent the possibility. I wonder if she believes that an email will lead to a call which will lead to a meeting which will put her right back into her fearful happy relationship with me? That's the only thing that I could think of. And what does it mean when they stalk you on FB? It was either her GF or her that was stalking otherwise it would not have prompted this contact. I think that its a low probability that her GF was stalking me.
The thing is, that oveall had a great relationship with this woman and was really looking forward to a future with her... .yes there were some quirks with her that I can now trace back to BPD, but thought that they might need some attention but it was nothing at all like the outward acting screaming and such that I have heard over and over again about on this board. Every now and again she would reinvent facts about places we were going or appointments... .and she was not very willing to talk about her inner thoughts and such... .other than that, we had similar values, interests and goals. I thought she was finally the one. That's what had made this so difficult.
