What do you think?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Well, the mind boggling continues! My BPDw has been attending an acupuncture university for over 1 1/2 years now in another city. At that same university, the advanced students with the guidance of teachers have a clinic for walk-ins. In fact, the 1st 3 visits for the public are free. Then, there are fees. So, over the past year, my BPDw has encouraged me to take advantage of these free visits. I have done 2 of them, and the students there are very good. In fact, they are just as good as a local acupuncturist in the town where we live.

Currently, my BPDw is attending another branch of that same university some 20 miles away.

Next Monday, I will be free, and I announced to my BPDw that I am going to get my 3rd visit and do other things in the area. She automatically said that I should not go there, but to our local clinic where we live, instead, that our local clinic acupuncturist knows everything. BTW, she too will be an intern this summer and the following school year.

So, this contradiction makes me wonder. You might say that since she is a student and knows what they are learning. So, she could change her mind. Yet, I am also suspicious that she is hiding something from me, such as perhaps even having feelings for a student who practices there.

So, my question to you is: am I way off base to think that?

[Samuel S.]

Well, the mind boggling continues! My BPDw has been attending an acupuncture university for over 1 1/2 years now in another city. At that same university, the advanced students with the guidance of teachers have a clinic for walk-ins. In fact, the 1st 3 visits for the public are free. Then, there are fees. So, over the past year, my BPDw has encouraged me to take advantage of these free visits. I have done 2 of them, and the students there are very good. In fact, they are just as good as a local acupuncturist in the town where we live.

Currently, my BPDw is attending another branch of that same university some 20 miles away.

Next Monday, I will be free, and I announced to my BPDw that I am going to get my 3rd visit and do other things in the area. She automatically said that I should not go there, but to our local clinic where we live, instead, that our local clinic acupuncturist knows everything. BTW, she too will be an intern this summer and the following school year.

So, this contradiction makes me wonder. You might say that since she is a student and knows what they are learning. So, she could change her mind. Yet, I am also suspicious that she is hiding something from me, such as perhaps even having feelings for a student who practices there.

So, my question to you is: am I way off base to think that?

[zeus123]

you are wondering if she is hiding something? of course she is, she's a BPD. not only she is hiding something from you but BPD's are impulsive, they cheat, they lie, they manipulate, they are very secretive. but you don't want to blame her for doing all of these because that is her nature, her traits (DSM IV). doing all of the bad stuff is not a behavior or an issue of trust but rather it is a self fulfilling prophecy.she has to cheat, she has to lie and she has to manipulate because she is impulsive, and if she doesn't she won't be a BPD. listen to your gut feeling and look for red flags, you already mentioned one of them, abandon her before she abandons you, another trait of BPD is they will eventually abandon you sooner or later it is another fulfilling prophecy. good luck.