seriously at my wits end

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I emailed my ex and said" I went to an accountant about taxes can we sit down and go over it?" His response " my lawyer is taking care of it" so I said " ok I'll call the lawyer" his response" I'm sick of you harassing and threatening me. You can't tell the truth ever. I don't think its wise for you to threaten me with calling the lawyer. You threaten me all the time.I'm in bed." what the heck.

[rarsweet]

I emailed my ex and said" I went to an accountant about taxes can we sit down and go over it?" His response " my lawyer is taking care of it" so I said " ok I'll call the lawyer" his response" I'm sick of you harassing and threatening me. You can't tell the truth ever. I don't think its wise for you to threaten me with calling the lawyer. You threaten me all the time.I'm in bed." what the heck.

[ForeverDad]

I recall the first year I was separated.  My ex refused to share any information on earnings or sign a joint tax return.  Of course, doing it joint would have saved a lot of money.  Come April 15 I filed for the automatic 6 month extension to Oct 15.  Months passed, still silence.  Finally October came, we were in one of our family court hearings and I'm desperate to know which way to file.  My L asks her L and he talks with her and tells her it makes financial sense to file jointly.  Then he says, "But she will get half the refund."  I was saying, to my L, "It's a refund of MY withholding!"  Anyway, I ended up sharing some of my refund with her.

Frankly, he's unlikely to listen to you, informing his lawyer makes sense but be prepared to file for the filing extension just in case.

So my advice is that if there is any deal made to file jointly, be sure you don't withhold too much of your earnings, don't give him incentive to demand half of your refund for his signature.

By the way, I used an accountant those first years apart and made sure it was the accountant who got her signature.  I didn't want my ex to later claim I had forged her signature.