New to BPD

[moore]

My adult daughter, 28, is struggling with BPD.  Several years ago, a counselor told me it would have to get really bad for my daughter before it got better.  She is trying to figure this out on her own and things have gotten worse.  I would like more input as to how to respond to her in ways that are beneficial to her.  I want very practical day to day advice. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Tim300]

I am sorry that you are going through this.  I don't believe there are any simple answers to your question.  I would try not to enable any dysfunctional behavior.  I would let her know that you're there for her, but I wouldn't get too swept into her dramas. 

[lbjnltx]

Hi moore 

Glad to have you here on the site and particularly the Parents Board.

It is a good thing that you are seeking ways to beneficially respond to your daughter.

There are skills and tools you can start learning and putting into practice right away.  Most people see improvement in communication and relationship fairly quickly when they use these skills.

If you look over to the sidebar you will see Tools and Lessons

Under tools you will find information about validation... .videos, workshops and articles.  That is where  you might concentrate your efforts initially. 

If you have any questions about these resources we are here to help.

If you don't mind me asking... .what particular behaviors by your daughter are the most troubling to you at this time?

lbj

[Rapt Reader]

Hello, moore &

I agree with lbjnltx, it would be very beneficial for you to check out the links to the right-hand side of this page; the TOOLS and THE LESSONS have practical information and tips to help you not only understand your daughter and her disorder better, but also to help you deal with her better.

When you have the chance, I'd like to encourage you to check out the Feature Articles that are under the 4 photos at the top of the Parenting Board's thread listing page. Whether your daughter is in Therapy at this time or not, all of the Articles have very valuable and helpful insights. I highly recommend each one of them 

My own adult (38) son was just diagnosed with BPD in March/April 2013, at the Dual Diagnosis Center he ended up in after he flamed out--an event that took his life from bad to his worst; and 2 years later he is the happiest and healthiest he has been since he was a little kid. At this time, he wouldn't even be diagnosed with BPD, and is in recovery... .

His story is linked to at the bottom of this post in my signature line: "Son's Dual Dx Pgm & NFT Story" if you would like to know just how bad his "bad" was, and what his "worst" looked like. And how he--and I--came through it all... .

I am also curious, like lbjnltx, about just what your daughter's BPD symptoms and behaviors look like, and what finally brought you to our family, moore 

[Niel09]

Always make her feel that she's not alone and you're always be there for her