How we tell our story matters - Meaning Making System (Dan Hughes) and DBT

[qcarolr]

I came across the quote below on a small card in my purse. It has been with me for about 2 years now. Two years of progress for me and better relationship with my DD28.

How does this make you feel about his comparison in defining DBT process?

"Brain Based Parenting", Dan Hughes, page 75 chapter on Meaning Making System

"Whereas stress-driven narratives tend to be simplistic stories, often having the flavor of victim-hood or martyrdom - of me vs. you - the human brain has a unique capacity to hold two seemingly opposing thoughts in mind to create an integrating, "meta" concept based on a synthesis of these seeming opposites. This is called a dialectical process and it is the basis for a type of therapy for EMOTIONALLY REACTIVE people called DBT developed by Marsha Linehan(1993). Self-soothing and mindfulness practices are taught to clients so that they can develop the capacity to calm their limbic systems and then activate the higher regions of their brains to create new levels of meaning and understanding.

This is precisely the kind of process that attachment-focused therapy (Hughes 2011) promotes, fostering safety and trust so that self-reflection and enriched meaning-making processes can be activated."

Telling my story as a narrative encompasses all elements vs. telling it like a chronological documentary. I think the emotional impact of narrative has so much value. In the past few years I have often come across the idea of integrating all our experiences into the narrative of our lives leading to health and vigor. I am seeking this kind of healing for myself, and for my family. Our stories are so interwoven it seems finding a way to interact in this process is important. Keep those connections open within boudnaries that respect and value personal core values.

How do you tell your story?

qcr

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Kwamina]

Hi qcarolr

Thanks for sharing this!

Self-soothing and mindfulness practices are taught to clients so that they can develop the capacity to calm their limbic systems and then activate the higher regions of their brains to create new levels of meaning and understanding.

This is precisely the kind of process that attachment-focused therapy (Hughes 2011) promotes, fostering safety and trust so that self-reflection and enriched meaning-making processes can be activated."

I find this very interesting and very true. Only when you're feeling safe and are in an emotionally calm state, will it be able to achieve growth and healing. Without safety and stability, it seems it's nearly impossible to grow and heal or think rationally. All you would be doing in such a hostile environment or triggered state of mind, is reacting and/or trying to survive what you are going through.

Telling my story as a narrative encompasses all elements vs. telling it like a chronological documentary. I think the emotional impact of narrative has so much value. In the past few years I have often come across the idea of integrating all our experiences into the narrative of our lives leading to health and vigor. I am seeking this kind of healing for myself, and for my family. Our stories are so interwoven it seems finding a way to interact in this process is important. Keep those connections open within boudnaries that respect and value personal core values.

How do you tell your story?

You relate these concept to how you tell your story. Could you tell us some more about this?

To heal or reach another level of healing, I do think it's essential to acknowledge and integrate all experiences we've had, even the unpleasant one. This doesn't have to mean that we agree with what happened but it does mean that we accept that they happened. Only by accepting them and integrating them into our story will we be able to let go and move on. I think the concepts you mention are also of relevance to us being able to tell our whole story including all the parts that can make us feel vulnerable. You can only let yourself be vulnerable when you're feeling safe and surrounded by people you trust.